The Strongest Tool: Emotional Intelligence for the Tough Tradesman

Ange
What we’re discussing today is emotional intelligence and being an emotionally intelligent leader. I believe this is the real muscle behind successful leadership in the trade industry. It’s the tool that separates the good leaders from the great ones. It’s not about hiding your feelings behind this tough exterior anymore. It’s actually about understanding those feelings and using them to connect with your team and drive your business forward. 

Andy
Yeah, but is everyone out there agreeing with you, Ange? Like, I know there’s a lot of people who’d be thinking, What a load of crap! And they’re probably using different words, but I’m trying to keep it very PC today. I get it though, I’ve definitely felt like this at times. And you just want to say to that person, Pull your finger out and just get on with the job.

Ange
Yeah, I get it. And sometimes that’s what is needed, but that was your default. How do you think that’s going to go down these days?  Plus it doesn’t truly get to the bottom of the issues such as staff underperformance saying, pull your finger out and get on the job, it’s kind of like a bad approach. It might work on that actual day, but it’s not going to help create change long term. I’m actually convinced that improving your emotional intelligence and leadership skills is going to be the key to your success. 

Andy
Yeah, I do agree, Ange, but I know a lot of people who are worried about it. If we’re really, truly preparing our young tradies for a better future, or are we just wrapping them up in cotton wool too much?

Ange
Well, that’s exactly the reason why I want to discuss this topic today about how emotional intelligence can potentially transform your leadership style. It can actually improve your business and maybe even change your life. 

Andy
Make sure to check out the show notes after today’s episode for a free download on how to become a better leader. There’s an exercise in there for you to go through, plus more on leadership development. Let’s get into the show.

You’re listening to The Tradie Show. This is the podcast for trade business and contracting bosses like you who want to lead with confidence, make more profit and create a better lifestyle.

Ange
We’re your hosts, Andy and Angela Smith, husband & wife team and co-founders of Lifestyle Tradie. Are you ready to have some fun?

Andy
Hell yeah! Imagine this. No more late nights quoting and invoicing. No more second guessing your business decisions. No more missing out on hanging with your mates and feeling like a slave to your business. If you want to create more freedom, make bigger profits, learn how to utilise AI in your business, build a dream team behind you, and finally get off the tools, come and see us at Lifestyle Tradie on Tour.  We’re coming to a capital city near you for a day of no bullshit. Reserve your free ticket at  lifestyletradie.com.au to learn how to work smarter, not harder. But don’t just take our word for it. 

Member’s Testimony
Definitely join Lifestyle Tradie. The amount of support and knowledge which is within the program is valuable.

We knew that we needed to know numbers but we didn’t know which numbers to look at and learning the right numbers to be watching and the right numbers to be looking at was able to double and triple our business really. Within a year, two years, I’m a hundred percent sold on that it’s worth it. Just do it. 

Ange
So we’re digging deep into some emotional stuff today, something not everyone’s going to feel comfortable about, but I believe working on your emotional intelligence is key to being a top notch leader in what has always been considered the tough world of trades. 

Andy
Now, you might be thinking, what is all this talk of emotions? Well, here’s the deal. Leading a team isn’t just about knowing your way around the tools. It’s about navigating through a jungle of emotions, yours and also your team’s. 

Ange
Yeah, that’s right. So let’s get into it. Let’s talk about what emotional intelligence actually is. And let’s talk about the four key components. We’ll also go over what happens when you don’t have these components working in your business. Plus, I want to share some practical strategies to improve your own emotional intelligence for leadership. Plus tips for businesses who operate as a husband and wife team. 

Andy
Ooh, that sounds good. I also want to touch on the controversy this topic does create and mainly it’s due to the clash between the traditional old school thinking and the younger generation. Historically, the trades arena has been dominated by a tough it out mentality and the older generation, we all pride ourselves on this. Like, You gotta deal with the hardship without complaining. It’s like, stop talking about all these feelings, bullsh*t and just get on with the job. 

Ange
Well, there’s a flip side. The younger generation entering the trades these days seem way more in tune with their emotion, and the concept of emotional intelligence. They won’t be using those words, but they’re more likely to talk about things like how they’re feeling or that they want more work life balance. And they advocate for a workplace culture that actually acknowledges and supports mental health.

Andy
But the older guys, and not all of them, and I’m definitely generalizing here, are often skeptical about all of this, aren’t we? And they argue wrapping your young workers in cotton wool Doesn’t truly prepare them for the harsh realities of working in the real world. 

Ange
However, most recent research shows that fostering emotional intelligence can actually lead to healthier, more effective teams who actually face modern workplace demands with far greater support for one another.

Andy
Okay, Ange, I’d love you to explain what you mean by emotional intelligence and give it to me in simple terms and how it differs from our general intelligence or what we’d say IQ. 

Ange
Okay, so emotional intelligence and your general intelligence, or what we say is IQ, are actually different, but they do complement each other. So your emotional intelligence is about understanding and managing your own emotions and the emotions of others. I’m talking about skills like empathy, emotional regulation, self awareness, overcoming challenges and conflict, plus social skills. Whereas IQ, on the other hand, measures your mental abilities. It’s all about your logical thinking, like problem solving, math skills, and basically the ability to learn and apply information. So high emotional intelligence can lead to better relationships and workplace environments, which is why I think it’s such an important topic. Whereas your IQ is often associated with, like academic achievements and technical skills.

Andy
I thought having a high IQ is something you either have or you don’t, you know, like having those, you know, you do those IQ tests. 

Ange
Well, yeah, that’s mostly correct. Your IQ stays pretty stable, to be honest, throughout your life, although you actually can sharpen your skills. But the great news is our emotional intelligence can be developed and improved over time through practice and training.

Andy
Yeah, that makes sense. And I personally have had a journey in developing my emotional intelligence over the years, and it definitely helped me be a better boss and a business owner, but I will say I wasn’t always the best boss and a bit of a hothead in the beginning, but over time I’ve developed those skills to be a more level headed leader.

Ange
Yeah, fair point. I think we need to remember it’s about more than just controlling your emotions, though. It’s actually about using them to create positive outcomes in your business and your life. So developing your emotional intelligence can help with things like relieving stress or effective communication skills and empathizing with others and overcoming challenges and most importantly, diffusing conflict.

Andy
Well, back in my school days, diffusing a conflict was a whole different ball game. You know, we didn’t have any of this fancy talk about emotional intelligence skills. It was more about standing your ground, maybe a bit of bluffing and a whole lot of hoping it wouldn’t turn into a  full blown brawl behind the school sheds, and we had to navigate those tricky waters with our gut instincts and a bit of luck, I suppose. Like, looking back on it, I can’t help but think how much smoother things might have gone if we had some of those emotional intelligence skills in our back pocket, but really it was all built around testosterone when I was at school.

Ange
Well, maybe and maybe not, because kids’ brains are still developing while they’re at school, and actually boys’ brains are still developing until they’re 21. However, kids nowadays are being taught to recognise and deal with emotions from a much younger age. This is like a new generation. We grew up in an era where children were to be seen and not heard. But that’s not how you and I treat our kids, Hannah and Isaac. And you know what? I’m not saying we’ve got this perfect. And maybe we swing perhaps too far the other way, but we’re approaching this in a much better way than all those years ago. 

Andy
Yeah, I definitely agree. So I want to dive into how we develop our emotional intelligence.

Ange
Okay. This is really interesting stuff. Emotional intelligence actually involves four key components. So let’s go through them one at a time. The first one is about self-awareness. And this is where you recognize your own emotions and how they affect your thoughts and behavior. It’s actually about understanding your personal strengths and weaknesses. And although no one likes to highlight their weaknesses, to be honest, it’s important to be aware so that you can actually start compensating or maybe delegate to someone else or stepping up and making some improvements. 

Andy
So I’m just going to make that a bit more practical with an example. So let’s say some of your personal strengths are you’re a good problem solver or you’re an expert and have great technical knowledge and you’re really resilient. You know, the kind of person who is optimistic and motivated even in the face of setbacks. However, your weaknesses are the fact that you struggle to delegate and you are a dead set control freak. 

Ange
Uh, this story sounds a little familiar so far. 

Andy
Yes. Um, admit it’s me. It’s me. I, and I was a big control freak back in the day. And some of that also had to do with my lack of trust in the team’s abilities, which led to bottlenecks in our plumbing business. But even though I was off the tools at that stage, the boys still called me time after time about certain jobs. And it made me feel important, a bit like a superhero that was there to save the day. Now I know that sounds so stupid when I say it out loud, but with some self awareness, I realized that while that was nicely feeding my ego and my need to feel important, it wasn’t helping my team skills development. And it wasn’t helping my business to be the systemized and self- sufficient success story that I was aiming for.

Ange
Well, this actually led you to change how you spoke to the guys when they would call you with an issue, right? 

Andy
Yeah, a hundred percent. And instead of giving them the answers right away, I started to stretch their problem solving skills and say, well, okay, well, what do you think you should do? And if they said that, I don’t know. I’d say, well, why don’t you think of two solutions that you could do and then give me a ring back and then I’d just hang up and then they’d call me back with two options and that is to say, which do you think is the best option? And I’d say, well, do you know what the best option is? I’d say no. And I go, well, have a think about it and give me a ring when you know, and then I’d hang up and then they’d ring up and go, well, I think option A is the best option. Now, the thing I want to point out is sometimes I was the best option. Sometimes it wasn’t. But I would just agree with them as long as it wasn’t going to take too much longer because I wanted them to make the decision themselves. And you know what? It meant that they became better plumbers in the long run. 

Ange
Well, not to mention back themselves with their decisions. 

Andy
Yeah. And in the process, I was working on my own self-awareness, which made me work on being okay to basically delegate the work to the team. Or in this case, help them be better, which helps the business improve in the long run.

Ange
Yeah, look, that’s a really great story. I’m sure heaps of people can relate. So let’s move on to the second key component of emotional intelligence, which is about self-regulation. This is particularly critical for us leaders in the trade industry. This is your ability to control or redirect negative emotions and impulses. It’s also about adapting to changing circumstances without allowing stress to overcome your decision making skills or any of the interactions you have with your team. 

Andy
Yeah, but the thing I want to say about this is don’t be too hard on yourself if this is something you really struggle with, because we’re all a work in progress, but getting better at self regulating can impact your business dramatically and it will help you manage stress. You can also assess situations on the job objectively and respond instead of that big reaction that maybe you’ve done in the past. 

Ange
Yeah. You mean like, stay professional at all times, right?

Andy
That is 100 percent right, and no one respects or trusts someone who’s prone for these emotional outbursts or impulsive decisions. I mean, I guess the most practical tip I can share here is when sh*t hits the fan, before you react, stop, take a breather and think first. 

Ange
Yeah. Good point. This type of behavior can really undermine your position as a leader. So it’s actually crucial to be aware that you do this and start working on it. 

Andy
Yeah. But that’s the point though, isn’t it Ange? You’re the leader, the role model for the team, and they’ve chosen to work for you because they look up to you and they respect you. You know, you are the boss who sets a standard of behavior on the job site or just in work in general. And what they see you do or how you react under pressure is what they think you are perhaps acceptable and they will copy you. 

Ange
Or they will know immediately that the behavior is not okay and over time actually tarnishes the culture of the business and you know what ultimately may mean that that tradie resigns all because of how you acted.

Andy
Yeah, agree. And because they’ve basically lost respect for you as a leader. 

Ange
Yeah, true. So what else can you suggest we do as trade business owners to get better at self regulation? 

Andy
Well, I think there’s quite a few ways that seem pretty straightforward. And I mentioned earlier to pause before you react. This is a big one. You know, when something goes wrong in the business, the obvious thing to do is fly off the handle, but taking a moment to pause gives you some time to think about the process and your feelings and decide on a more thoughtful course of action rather than reacting impulsively and blowing up.

Ange
Hmm. Yeah. Easier said than done for many, I imagine, but important. Can you share any others? 

Andy
So I think the big one here is making sure you’re looking after your own physical health. I mean, this is one key area that every tradie should be doing. And I can only talk from a bloke’s point of view, but speaking from my experience, as we get older day in, day out, you need an outlet. And for me, it was going to the gym, like getting back into the gym and lifting heavy weights and getting that testosterone going and, and really pumping it out. And my trainer was the one that got me onto this and he said, there’s so much study around it, but what is it for you? How are you gonna make sure that your physical health is in a good position?

Ange
Yeah, I absolutely love that. Is there anything else you wanna share? 

Andy
Well, I think the big one is getting feedback from a coach. I mean, this is such a powerful one because a coach or a mentor can see those blind spots. You know, they can call you out on your bullshit and then they can go to work on what needs to be fixed.

Ange
Yeah. They’re all great examples. And I think it is totally reasonable and achievable to add them to your life. So let’s move on and share the third key component of emotional intelligence, which is social awareness. This is all around understanding emotions and needs and concerns of other people. Also having empathy, like picking up on emotional cues and feeling comfortable socially and recognizing the power dynamics in a group. This just means understanding who really causes shots and how people get along or maybe who don’t in your team so that you as a leader can actually work smarter with everyone’s like quirks and these little influences that they have. 

Andy
So let’s make that practical. So social-awareness helps you better understand the needs of your team, which leads to increased job satisfaction, reduced turnover and more staff that are connected with their team in general. And social-awareness also helps in identifying and resolving conflicts before they escalate. I mean, we all know that maintaining a harmony between your guys is super important and you just want to make sure that everyone is getting along.

Ange
That’s also true about a team, but let’s just twist this about how you deal with a customer. Your ability to empathize with customers, say their concerns and needs actually leads to a more satisfied customer. And that could actually lead to long term loyalty and then even referring you to their friends and family. In Dr. Drip, we pride ourselves on having really loyal customers and high rates in  return  and referrals, this meant we actually spent less money on having to hunt for new business. All this was simply because we were empathetic with our customers’ needs. 

Andy
So if this is so important, then how do you get better? 

Ange
Well, great question. You can actually practice empathy by active listening and paying really close attention to what others are saying without immediately forming a response. You can actually validate people’s feelings by acknowledging them and you can ask open ended questions. 

Andy
So what kind of questions? 

Ange
Well, some examples in your team could be, what challenges are you facing with this project? Or can you tell me more about your experience with that? Or what do you think would be the best outcome or How can I support you in this? These questions prompt people to give you a really detailed response so that you have a way better understanding of their perspective and the emotions in a certain situation. 

Andy
Yeah, I love that. That’s a great suggestion. So let’s cover the final component of increasing our emotional intelligence and then I want to share how we use this to help us work as a successful husband and wife team. We’ve shared how this can help you in your work teams, but there’s so many couples building their businesses together that have the potential to become real power couples. 

Ange
Yes, we have some pretty incredible couples in Lifestyle Tradie and they love to tell us how their membership and the community has helped them in their working and their personal relationships. And it’s all from things like self awareness and self regulation and empathy, plus this last component of emotional intelligence, which is relationship management.

Andy
And this is all about maintaining good relationships, communicating clearly, working well together as a team and managing conflict. You know, we’ve been working together, Ange, for over 20 years, but we did make some really crucial decisions that helped us right from the beginning, didn’t we?

Ange
Yeah, we sure did. After we had a doozy of an argument because you totally lost your shit about me placing an ad for like $397 or something stupid in a local paper because I didn’t ask your permission. 

Andy
Attention, attention. We’re back here again, everyone. God. 

Ange
Well, it was the trigger, actually, for us to realise that what we were doing was not working and that we needed to actually have rules and boundaries.

Andy
Yeah, okay, fair sentence, but one of the best ones we set was around bringing work home, didn’t we? And to this day, we still ask each other if it’s okay to talk about work at home. 

Ange
Yeah. Good, that’s true. And if you ask the question, can I ask you a work question? And if Andy responds with no, not right now, then you actually have to respect their response and wait until, you know, Monday comes around. Stacey from JDY Electrical in Goulburn was on our podcast recently and she mentioned that her and her husband Jack actually step outside onto the veranda to talk work whenever they’re at the house. They don’t even want to talk about it inside the house. 

Andy
I absolutely love that. And because it’s probably golden in winter, it’s friggin freezing. So they don’t have to talk for too long. They literally can’t switch on and off as they walk through the door. I love that.

Ange
Yeah, exactly. 

Andy
I also think it’s important for couples and work teams to have a shared vision. You know, sharing your vision and goals for the business in a compelling way can motivate and unite your team towards a common purpose. This is all part of relationship management. 

Ange
Yeah, great point. You know what? We’ve certainly covered some ground here in this podcast, talking about emotional intelligence.

Andy
And it would be good for everyone to consider where they stand in light of the four components. Self awareness, self regulation, social awareness, and relationship management, and maybe think about how you can make improvements.

Ange
Yeah. Great point. As a business owner, to be honest, as a human, really, we should be aiming to continually develop and improve and ask ourselves this question. How can I be better today than I was yesterday in all facets of my life? 

Andy
Ooh, that’s deep, Ange, but I do like it. And remember, we have that free leadership guide ready for you to download in the show notes today, or you can head to our website and check out the resources page. This is the next step on your leadership journey in becoming an emotionally intelligent and highly effective trade leader.  

It’s tradie dilemma time. And this is our Q and A segment where you let us know what you’re having trouble with in your business. And we give you our best advice.

Ange
All right. So today we have a question from Josh in Adelaide and he writes, hi, Andy and Ange, I’m a plumber and I’ve just started out on my own after being inspired by this show.

Andy
Oh, that’s awesome. 

Ange
It is. My question is, how did you find work in the beginning? Did you ever advertise or did you start doing jobs on the weekends before you went out on your own, and would you do the same again if you were starting today? 

Andy
Yeah, that’s an absolutely great question. So for me personally, I was doing a lot of work outside, a lot of my own work outside of work hours. So at the end of the day, I was going and doing one or two jobs in the afternoon. On a Saturday, I was working a full Saturday and sometimes on a Sunday as well. And I was building all this work up, which was really good. In regards to advertising, Definitely, I had cards done. I had a big banner that I put on a busy intersection that really brought in some work. And I had a very small ad at the beginning in one of our local newspapers and that really got me going and got us going really fast, didn’t it? 

Ange
Yes, but that was 24 years ago. So Andy, would you do the same again if you were starting today? 

Andy
Yeah, I would Ange, because doing that extra work in the afternoons and on the weekend brought in a lot of money actually, and that helped me buy my vehicle, set up my tools and set the business up and ready to go. And in regards to marketing, I mean, listen, that banner that I did on the side of the road, you probably weren’t allowed to do that, but that was incredible. And I know advertising the local newspapers is a little bit different these days. But you’ve got to know your avatar. You’ve got to know your ideal customer, and then we’ve got to market to them. Have a great website, but get your name out there. Maybe even join some type of networking group, which could be good as well. And that’s the way I’d get started in today’s environment.

Ange
Thanks for writing in and sharing your dilemma, Josh.  Want to know more about how Lifestyle Tradie can help you create more time, scale your profit, and get your life back? Then come and meet us at Lifestyle Tradie on Tour. So many of our members have success stories, and we would love to kickstart that journey for you. To reserve your free ticket right now, head to lifestyle tradie.com.au, and we look forward to seeing you in the room. 

Member’s Testimony
Don’t wait, but these guys are very honest and open. They share so much information personally, as well as business. It’s a holistic approach to life, not just how to run your plumbing business. 

Lifestyle Tradie has a huge sense of community. Yes. It’s just a great group of people just helping everyone out and they help you out. Just hanging out after the events is always fun as well. Some great speakers come along and definitely always, always learning stuff from every event we go to. 

There’s been so many times where I’ve learned on the community’s advice, where we’ve had certain issues that we’ve been able to bring it up in our, you know,  Facebook group. You get plenty of answers that you can actually action.

Don’t hesitate. Every year that you put it off, there’s just an extra year that you’re losing if you need help. Get it. 

Andy
Subscribe to The Tradie Show. Wherever you get your favorite podcasts, rate and write us a review or for more information about Lifestyle Tradie, head to lifestyletradie.com.au.