Tricks to manage difficult customers & turn them into lifelong clients. Guest starring Australia’s leading People-Skills Expert, Judeth Wilson

We’ve all got horror stories when it comes to working with crappy customers; bad customers are unavoidable no matter what trade industry we are in! Ditch the “it is, what it is” mentality and learn a few sneaky tricks from Australia’s leading People-Skills Expert, Judeth Wilson, in today’s episode.

Andy
Hello, hello, and welcome to The Tradie Show. It actually rhymed a little, didn’t it? Didn’t it? I mean, I felt a little bit like Santa Claus .

Ange
You kind of look a bit like him too.

Andy
Whoa! Where did that come from?

Ange
I know, I’ve kicked your hard real fast, haven’t I?

Andy
Guess what? Summer bodies are made in winter and mine’s been brewing for years.

Ange
Alright, back to business.

Andy
Okay, let’s get stuck in. So what’s the tradie toolbox topic for today, Ange?

Ange
So I was looking through the questions and topic suggestions in our tradie toolbox yesterday and literally half of the suggestions were about how to manage difficult customers.

Andy
Because if you don’t have customers, you don’t have a business. So yeah, I can see why it’d be valuable to know how to manage difficult customers because not every customer is perfect, right?

Ange
Yeah. I think sometimes you could actually be a bit of a difficult customer.

Andy
I definitely can. I mean, I know what I want and that doesn’t make me difficult, that makes me smart. But I guess in some way it’s my way or the highway.

Ange
Hmm. Not so sure about that, but alright. We’ve obviously had our fair share of difficult customers over the years with our plumbing business, so we’ve had a lot of experience dealing with them, but today I want to introduce to our listeners a close friend of ours who is Australia’s leading people skills expert, Judeth Wilson. Hey, Judeth. Welcome to the show.

Judeth
Hello, Andy and Ange. Good to be here.

Andy
Judeth, thanks so much for joining us today. It wasn’t that long ago that you gave an amazing presentation to our Lifestyle Tradie members, all around people management.

Ange
Yeah, they loved it. Our trade business owners were raving about your session. It’s so great to be able to share your knowledge with our listeners though today. We’re really looking forward to hearing your insights.

Andy
So Judeth, you are a people skills expert. What exactly does that mean?

Judeth
So Andy, I teach people the soft skills of building relationships, so that could be how to build rapport with people quickly and easily, how to communicate with them. It’s all about having good relationships with people. Be that internally within your organization or externally with customers.

Andy
In today’s day and age, do you believe that harnessing the skills to deal with good and bad customers is necessary for trade business owners?

Judeth
Absolutely. It is one key way to differentiate yourself so that you really are standing out from the crowd by your superior soft skills. Really interestingly, Harvard University, Carnegie Foundation and Stanford Research Center, All concluded that 85% of job and business success comes from having well-developed people skills and only 15% is from having the technical skills and knowledge. So that is huge.

Ange
That’s huge.

Judeth
Showing us that these soft skills are becoming more and more and more important, and if you don’t hone and perfect them, you’re gonna be left behind.

Ange
So the last time you presented to our members, you shared some insights into understanding why difficult people can be difficult. Can you share some of those teachings with our listeners?

Judeth
Absolutely. So the way I like to describe it, is that people are like icebergs. When you look at an iceberg, you tend to see the bit above the water, and you see that as the iceberg. But if we think about it, there’s so much more, probably eight tenths of it is under the water that you can’t see. And people are exactly the same. When we have someone that’s difficult, that says something to us that we’re like, whoa, where did that come from? What’s wrong with you? That’s crazy. Things like that. Instead of reacting to what the person’s saying and how they’re behaving, it’s always a great idea to take a step back and say, hold on. What might be happening below the waves? And with all that the world has gone through in the last sort of 18 months, people have stuff going on. We’ve all got a story. We’ve all got things that can stress us out. Is it financial concerns? It might be health concerns, it might be someone else putting pressure on them to then put pressure on you to sort something out. It might be just the type of day they’ve had. They could have had a really rotten day and you happen to just be the last person and you get it. So I think more than ever, people are finding that people are stressed, they’re anxious, it’s all happening. And to be able to think of people and to take a step backwards emotionally and say, I don’t know what’s going on under the water, just like the iceberg. That’s how we need to think of it.

Ange
I love that. Is it an analogy or a metaphor? What’s the English term for that? I don’t know.

Andy
But don’t look at me. What would I know?

Ange
I love that iceberg theory. We teach a similar thing to our trade business owners, because often, as you can imagine, they say they’re dealing with a residential client and they’ll walk to the front door and they’ll end up inside the house. And for whatever reason, that customer is really rude and nasty to that tradesman. And we teach them not to react to how that customer is treating them because they are just, they’ve just become, perhaps they’ve said something that’s made that customer react in a certain way, and now they’re almost in an argument that they’re like, you were the trigger, you just said something that has set them off, but you don’t know what’s happened in their life. Mm-hmm. Prior to you walking inside that door. Maybe they just had an argument with their husband, or they’ve just been so stressed getting the kids out of the door. So I love that analogy because we see that iceberg. We see that customer as we walk inside that house, but we have no idea about how they’re feeling and what they’ve just experienced. So they’ve really gotta separate themselves from that moment. It’s a really powerful concept.

Andy
Well, that’s right. And I just wanna ask Judeth this because I’ve heard from you before. What is the benefit of understanding personality types?

Judeth
Well, it’s really useful to understand that there are four main types of people where it comes to how they like information to be given to them. Yeah. And as soon as we understand this, then we can give them information in the way they like it without us giving it in the way we want to give it. Let me explain what I mean. There are four main types of people. You get detail seekers, you get result seekers, harmony seekers, and excitement seekers. So when you’re dealing with a detail seeker, they want detail. They want you to tell them every single part of it. They want you to break down invoices. They wanna say what you’re going to be doing and the timeline and when you’re gonna do it. Things like that. Detail seekers, . Yeah, exactly. Well, they thrive on that. So if you don’t give it their way, they’re gonna be frustrated and constantly asking you questions and saying, well, what time are you arriving? And what time are you leaving? And when is it gonna be finished? So it’s best to turn things around when you realize you’ve got a detail seeker and give them detail. Whereas if you’ve got a result seeker, They are not interested in all of the details. You’re gonna annoy them. If you start going through the tiny little things, they’re gonna be like, I’m busy. Just get on with it. Just do the job I’m paying you to do. You know, how much is it gonna be and when are you gonna be finished? They don’t want you to drill down into each of those different things. Then the harmony seeker. The harmony seeker likes to do the correct thing environmentally, socially. They like to be in popular choices. So they’ll say to you, what do other people do? What do your other clients choose? What is the most uh, popular color for this? Yeah, what do other people do? So harmony seekers like to feel safe that other people do the same thing, that this is a problem that commonly occurs. They like to feel that. And the excitement seeker, which is the fourth one, is the opposite of that. So the excitement seeker likes to be first. Does this come in bright red? Um, I need to be the first person ever. I don’t care that you’ve never done it that way. Do it this way for me. I don’t care how much it costs. Find a solution for me. So the point is that you can have good relationships with people when you understand these four styles, but it becomes even more important when they’re difficult. Because when they’re difficult, they’re gonna go more to the style. A detail seeker is gonna become more detailed when they’re difficult. A result seeker is gonna get more results. Just do it. Just get on with it. I’m sick and tired of excuses. Just give me a solution and do it by yesterday. You know, they’re gonna be very, very quick. And so what you need to do is listen and pick up some of these key things and go right. I’m dealing with a detail seeker, and then it’s key to understand that it’s not about us, it’s about them. Yeah, it’s always about the customer, so it’s about their style and they are gonna find it easier to get on with us if we are communicating with them in their way.

Ange
What happens if you are a particular one of those four personality styles that you just explained? So therefore you, you find it quite, I understand what you’re saying, that you need to adjust to what you’ve just been presented, but what happens if you are just a detailed person? So that’s just the way you communicate, always in detail. How do you get around that?

Judeth
You’ve gotta be conscious of it. It’s not good enough to just say, well, that’s the way I am, because you’re gonna find people we like, like people, we like people that are like us and we don’t like people that are not like us. People that are different. We go, Ooh, you are weird. You are strange. You are odd. Yeah. And this isn’t a cultural thing. This is a human thing. Human beings like sameness to them. If you think back to school, you know the groups of kids that hung out together, the sporty kids all hung out together and the nerdy kids all hung out together because we gravitate to sameness because it’s our comfort zone and it what, it’s what makes us feel happy and safe because everyone else is like us. So when it comes to this, I explain it for anyone who’s ever been on tubes and trams and trains at the stations where they say Mind the gap. Mind the gap between the train and the platform. You’ve gotta step over the gap. People’s relationships are exactly the same in that we need to mind the gap if the gap of difference is too big between us. We are not gonna get on, we’re not gonna have rapport. It’s gonna be, you are too weird. Whereas if we find ways to bridge the gap and make ourselves more similar to them, they find it easier to communicate with them. Suddenly we’re talking in their language. We’re delivering it in a manner that is the same as them. And so, The results seeker, detail seeker, harmony seeker, and excitement seeker is just one of the ways that we can go, oh, that’s how they like information to be given. And it isn’t about me. It doesn’t matter that I’m a detail seeker. If they aren’t and I start laying it on really thick about all the detail, they’re gonna say, this is just wasting my time. So we have to go. I understand. I am one of these four, and it’s a useful exercise to work out what you are. And an idea is to think about an example. If you were going to a shop on a Saturday morning to buy a new home computer, then are you gonna want to know the MIG and the spec and the RAM and have you done research and have you checked out this computer? You’re probably a detail seeker. Whereas if you go, yeah, is it gonna do what I need it to do? How much is it? You’re more likely to be a result seeker. If you have phoned friends and asked what they’ve got, and you’ve gone on to forums and you’ve looked up everything, you’re more likely to be a harmony seeker and the excitement seeker, well, you know, if you’ve ever slept outside Apple for three nights before the release of a new product then you’re probably an excitement seeker.

Andy
It’s, it’s funny you say that cause I sort of had a bit of a, a,

Ange
You thought about yourself through all that.

Andy
I thought about myself and I was thinking, what do I do when I go into a shop and say I was going in to buy some shirts. As soon as I walk in the door, they go, hi, um, would you like a hand? And my first reaction, not! Because I don’t want them to gimme a hand because they’re gonna try to sell something and then all of a sudden I see something I like and, oh shit, I really need a hand now. Oh, excuse me, can you come and help me? And then all I gotta, all they’ve gotta do then is say, God, you look good in that. And then I bang so done. I don’t care about the price. I’m just done and I’m over. So what? But I know, I know. Sorry. A lot of trade business owners listening out there and, and some of the things you are talking about with customers, Judeth, we come across this every single day and sometimes there’s an element that we rock up to the front door and when customers are asking a million questions, it’s almost like a roll in the eyes.

Ange
Frustrating.

Andy
Sometimes it’s like, oh my God, I don’t have enough time in the day to listen to you, but it’s something that was changing our company and who we are, that we realize those ones that wanna spend the time with you are the ones that spend the most money, majority of the time.

Judeth
Absolutely.

Andy
Well, we used to write ’em off and now it’s like, nah, we’re on a winner here.

Ange
Well, I love what Judeth said about the fact that I think there’s this reality check of what are these personalities that you are faced with with their customers? But I, in talking about difficult customers, I love how you said these customers will lean in further into that particular personality style when they’re under stress or they’re trying to make decisions quickly. So that being said, how can we use better communication skills to overcome difficult situations?

Judeth
So I’ve got a fantastic formula that really helps when you are in hot water and someone is not happy, you simply scream help, and it’s a great acronym, H E L P. And it’s in those moments where you’re kind of feeling attacked. They’re coming at you and you’re like, oh my God, what do I do? . So the H is Halt. You need to stop and you need to breathe because if we do a knee-jerk reaction, it’s gonna be from your heart. It’s emotional. You got tone with me? I’m gonna get tone with you. You got sarcastic with me, I can get sarcastic with you. It’s that knee-jerk reaction of boom. I can have some fast answers too. But we’re not gonna be proud of that. At the end of the day, you might have come with some quick answer, and then you think, oh golly, I shouldn’t have said that. That was just too much. I wish I hadn’t. And you feel bad about it. So we need to engage the professional brain. We need to take the time to go from that heart knee-jerk reaction to the head where we are going. I’m a professional. How do I come at it from here? And so a pause. Don’t feel the need to come in immediately with an answer. Breathe, engage the professional brain. Now what we say we’re gonna be so much more proud of, at the end of the day, the E is empathy. We need to come in quickly with empathy, but not apology. We cannot apologize at this stage because I don’t know the full story. I haven’t a clue what’s going on. I know you are angry, but I need to understand more. But I can use empathy and the key word here that I want to teach people is not to say, I understand, because the other person can come back and say, no, you don’t. Mm-hmm. , whenever, have you had your roof fall? Or whatever they’re talking about. Yeah. So don’t say I understand, because they can say, no, you don’t. The word that’s much better to use is realize. I realize, you are frustrated, I realize whatever it is, and that’s gonna come across as empathy. So immediately they’re gonna start to come down going, okay, cool, this person is understanding what I’m telling them. That’s good. The L is listen and we need to listen properly not listening, thinking of what we’re gonna say back. Too often when people are speaking, we go into, okay, this is what I could say and this is what I’m gonna say, and this is how they’re wrong, and things like that. So we need to really listen and say, I’m gonna tap into exactly what they are saying. and then the P is make a plan, moves to solution thinking and to solving it as soon as possible. Too often we go round and round and round, and the problem, the problem, the problem, and neither of us are solving it. I want you to take it into, here’s what we can do, here’s how we can move this forward. So H is halt. E is empathy. L is listen, and P is make a plan.

Andy
That is awesome. And I know that a lot of our listeners out there are gonna use that help.

Ange
It’s really practical, isn’t it?

Andy
Many times very practical. So when you do have a customer, and a lot of us tradies out there, find themselves in that real hot water, is HELP what they use, so when the customer’s angry, aggressive, is that what we’re looking at? Just stop,

Ange
Take a breath.

Andy
And use the HELP. Take a breath.

Judeth
You can, but to add on to that, yeah. You need to be thinking about communicating in the most positive way. I find this is a big issue that many of us don’t stop to think about the words that we are going to use and to reframe the language. So we open our mouths and we simply say it. We say the situation, we say the drama that’s occurred, whatever it is, we just go blah and out to come. Whereas I’m a big believer that you can think about it and say, how can I say this in the most positive light? So for example, if I had a sentence that was negative, like unfortunately there’s nothing I can do until next Tuesday. Reframing that. You can simply say, certainly I can have this done for you next Tuesday. The “unfortunately” makes it ever so negative. We all write and say “unfortunately”, far too often. When have you ever heard a sentence that started with, “unfortunately” that ended well? No, it never is. It doesn’t happen. So research interestingly shows us that if you simply take the word “unfortunately” out of the sentence and leave the rest exactly the same, it is less negative without the unfortunately, than putting the unfortunately in. And too many of us use it. We think that it’s cushioning. We think that it’s, oh, I’m so un, it’s so unfortunate that we can’t do this, but we have what’s called emotional deafness to the word unfortunately, when someone says, unfortunately, you go, ah, ah, I don’t wanna hear. I don’t wanna hear. That’s bad. That’s bad. Protect me from it because we don’t want it. It’s like, but so, yeah, I reckon I would tell people never, ever to use the “unfortunately” word ever again.

Ange
I know as trade business owners, they’re often in a situation where they have to think on their feet, so they verbalize what you’ve just said. So something like that would come outta their mouth immediately. But there’s another side to this, which is from an admin perspective, they write a lot. So they write from a quote perspective, they’re responding to customers via email or maybe even text message. And they don’t stop to think about what they’re gonna write back. So they might have almost copped a little bit of abuse from a customer cuz a customer’s, like you said, you’re gonna be here and blah, blah blah a day and you’ve just now told me that we have to change the date. And um, so I could imagine this would apply even through emails and text messages that when you write something that you should stop and look at what you’ve sent even before you send it, uh, and even sleep on it. Yeah. Perhaps if you’ve been faced with a difficult customer, because you’ve gotta put yourself back in that customer’s shoes to read that text message or that email and go, what would I think if that got sent?

Andy
I think the team is too, I mean, I’m only speaking on my behalf. You know, leaving in year 10 and English definitely wasn’t one of my subjects, you know? But you know, a lot of the times I write a sentence, I don’t even know where to put full stops, you know? , no . I think that would be, just go. So that’s probably very normal for a trade for me to write an email or to send a text. I’ve gotta really slow it down and think, because so many people were quick to respond, but it sounds so aggressive. Yes. And so many people can get the wrong idea by emails and text messages. So for me, if we ever have any challenges, I’m a phone guy. I’m a phone “verbal” conversation with someone. The emails and texts don’t work for me.

Ange
People read between the lines, don’t they? And I imagine that word, unfortunately, is even written in that email. Like, I could see that happening all the time. They think it softens the blow, like what you said, but I don’t think it softens the blow at all.

Judeth
Indeed. So a couple of tips when it’s email and text that we need to think through with email, definitely, definitely start and end positively. Even if you have to say no in the email or you have to say something that they’re not gonna want to hear. It’s bad news, whatever it might be. Start positively. Too many people go straight into the negative. I’ve even received emails that start, hi, Judeth, unfortunately, , yes. You know, and they start with that straight. So far better that you think of something positive to say and there is always something positive. You can say, thank you for your email. You can say, thank you for letting us know about this issue. Anything like that is positive as a start, and then you have to end with positive as well. You can’t end brutally by saying, make sure this is done. Or else you need to be saying, you know, thank you. Even if it’s something cheesy, like Thank you in advance for your cooperation with this or something like that, you can always find something to say. So start and end. And even if you need to write the middle of your email first, get it out. Say what you need to say. Great. And now go back and top and tail it. Top it with something positive and end it with something positive. Now with emails, if they’re important, if this is something that could end in legal action or something drastic with a difficult customer, it’s fine to write your email, but then ideally you want to save it and sleep on it, because how often do you come back the next day and read it and go, oh my goodness, in the heat of the moment when I was angry. I would have sent this and that would’ve been detrimental to the relationship. So it’s a good idea. If it’s not that important, just try and give it a little bit of space. Go and have a cup of tea, whatever it might be. Come back and read it again. But if it’s important, have somebody else read it so that they can pick up the tone. Is your tone really bad in this, or is it okay? And read it the following day. I assure you, you will soften it down. You will add in. You will take out some of those things that you said. With text, it’s important never to write in capital letters. Capital letters, people often do, and it sounds like you’re shouting at someone, so definitely make sure and text, you gotta be careful that you are not being unprofessional. These shortening abbreviations, THX for thanks and things like that. You want to write proper English because it’s a form of communication that you’re writing. You don’t really wanna slip into slippery slopes where we’re, you know, if you read youngsters, 10 year olds and 12 year olds texts, you know, you can hardly understand any of them. We need to make sure that we are not using acronyms, that we are keeping it professional because all of these forms are still business communication.

Andy
Yes. I remember I wrote a text once and I put like three or four exclamation marks at the end of it, and the customer wrote back, stop shouting at me, and I was like, oh, shit, what did I do? I wasn’t shouting. I just didn’t realize, I didn’t really understand the importance of exclamation marks. Right. And yeah. And, um, so they’re just those little things that you should never,

Ange
Well as, as a trade business owner, what I love about having this conversation with you, Judeth, is communication is so critical to all business, but more so trade. It’s so relative to us because everything is, you’ve gotta think on your feet. So the communication, you could lose a sale, just simply because you’ve said the wrong word, whether that’s in front of someone or whether that’s on an email because you’re in the middle of that quote conversion process or, and or a text message whilst you’re in the middle of a job. That job could end just simply because you’ve written or said the wrong thing. So I think all your tips are super useful and critically important for trade business owners to ensure that we retain these customers and actually come back. So the challenge we have is ensuring that every single customer that we ever deal with, that we do an incredible job and we collect money, and the experience was fabulous. And now we stay in contact with them so that they come back and use our services again. Whether we’ve, they’ve been difficult or not, hopefully you’ve picked up some tips to ensure that you, they’ve smoothed the process over. We really do wanna ensure that they’re lifelong customers, so how do we turn them into lifelong customers, in your opinion?

Judeth
A great analogy I have is thinking about each relationship that you have with a customer being like an emotional bank account. Now, an emotional bank account is just like a normal bank account where we are putting deposits in and we are taking withdrawals out and too often we go through interactions just doing what we need to do. You asked me a question, I answered it. You needed a job done. I did the job. It’s feeling too mediocre and we want to take our service up to exceptional magic service rather than just going through the motions, which is mediocre. And so if you have this idea of emotional bank accounts, you want to use every interaction as an opportunity to put a deposit into the bank account so that you are making the bank account healthier and healthier and healthier so that then when something does happen, when we get it wrong or we arrive late, or the invoice is incorrect, whatever might have happened, it’s coming from a surplus in the bank account. . Whereas if we’ve just done the ordinary, we’ve just gone through the motions, we’re on zero, then as soon as you have something happen, we are plummeting into the red. And so that’s the problem. When people aren’t delivering exceptional service as a matter of being, then they’re finding it a problem that the person is more likely to get more difficult. So this is a proactive way of saying, how can I make sure that customers aren’t as difficult as they can be, and you do this by depositing into the emotional bank accounts, and sometimes this is free and doesn’t cost anything. It’s on a Friday afternoon, wrapping up with, have a great weekend using the person’s name, remembering something that they’ve told you. If they’re going to do something cool on Saturday night with their son saying, have a great time. I hope you do. And then when you see them on Monday morning, Hey, how was it? How did you go? Things like that where you are personal and people feel that you care about them. Are putting deposits each and every time into the bank account. A great example is Lexus. Lexus have been doing this for donkey’s years. When they take your car for a service, they return it with a tiny little gift in your car, and it’s a different gift every time. And I’m talking tiny, sometimes it’s popping one of those little packs of Ferrero Rocher chocolate in the middle. Sometimes it’s a wet wipes pack, if they see you’ve got carseats for kids in the back, they’ll pop a wet wipes in. Things like that are emotional deposits into the bank account. And it’s how you make people feel. And they’ve been so clever about this because what do you think the next car that they’re gonna buy when they upgrade? They go, yep, I’ve driven Lexus now, I’m gonna drive Lexus next and next and next. And so if we look at the ladder, it’s about what can I do to take people from prospects to customers? From customers to clients because clients are repeat people. Mm-hmm. From clients to advocates, people raving about us saying, oh my gosh, doing business with them was fabulous. You have to use them. They’re the best tradies I’ve ever used. And then the top of the ladder is a partner, and a partner would never dream of using any other tradie. They’re like, that’s who I use. That’s who I’ve used forever. I would never go anywhere else. And depositing into the emotional bank account is the quickest way that you’re gonna get to advocates that are talking about you. And the higher up the ladder you are, the more likely they are to give you the benefit of the doubt. When something goes wrong, they’ll be like, nah, you’re not normally like this. It’s normally correct. You’re usually on time. You’re normally so friendly, whatever it might be, because they’ve got that established relationship with you. Higher up the ladder.

Andy
A hundred percent. And building that relationship and doing everything you said there is absolutely huge.

Ange
I wanna add to that. I think in this industry, in in the trade industry, this what you just explained about this emotional bank account and moving up this ladder is critically important because we are classed as, I guess, a bit of a commodity, a plumber as a plumber, as a plumber, a sparky as a sparky, as a sparky. And if you don’t elevate yourself to deliver a different level of customer experience so that the customer says, without a shadow of a doubt, I would, I would get that person back. They are my go-to people so that they hit that level of partner. Not only are they telling their friends that it is that person that’s on their phone when they say, I need that Sparky to come back, that’s who I’m gonna contact. That is critically important to a trade business to develop that relationship long term. We talk about these one presenters, I class them as these little one presenters that truthfully can be embedded in a process that every trade business owner must have in the flow of a job that their entire team just executes. As an example, Judeth, you talked about Lexus and you said the car, every single time they leave a little gift. Well, that gift is just a process. They just go, the last time this car was here, they got the Ferrero shades. The next time, it’s just like trip one, trip two, trip three, trip four, trip five. And the gifts are different and no one has to think they are just, they just know on the, you know, on the card, in the file it says this is their third, you know, mechanic, whatever.

Judeth
Absolutely.

Ange
Yeah. It comes with something, yeah. Real, really important about how to build this into a trade business.

Andy
Yeah. So Judeth, what we like to do is we love to play a game with our guests. So we’re gonna ask you three questions. You have around 30 seconds or less to answer them. Are you up for this?

Judeth
I’m up for it. Bring it on. .

Andy
What is your number one thing for tradies when talking to customers?

Judeth
They need to manage the customer expectations more than what the customer expects. Too often we say things like, I’ll call you back, or I’ll do it as soon as possible. Now that means nothing. And the problem is when you don’t draw a line in the sand and say when it’s gonna happen, the customer creates the expectation in their head. Yes. And that’s dangerous because they’re thinking, oh, that’s probably gonna happen within an hour and you know, it’s gonna take three days to get an answer. So really important that you are saying what they should expect by when. I will call you with an answer by close of business today. Then you call them by lunchtime instead of close of business and you’ve created a wow. You’ve put a deposit into the emotional bank account. So we want to under promise and over deliver. You wanna buy yourself more time. And on that note, please never give rangers. Don’t say it’ll take three to five days, because at three they’re going tik tok tik tok isn’t gonna happen. So why don’t we always say it’ll happen within five days? Then if it happens at three, we think you’re marvelous. If it happens at four, I’m like all good. But we tend to give rangers, and that’s a mistake. Always say the maximum.

Andy
Number two, what is the one thing we all get wrong when dealing with difficult customers?

Judeth
We use our language instead of the customer’s language. Going back to what I was talking about, bridging the gap. There is one technique that is incredibly powerful when dealing with difficult people. It’s to listen and use their emotional language back to them. So if they say, I’m really frustrated that no one’s called me back, you say, I realize your frustration not, oh, I can see you are angry. Not, oh, I know you’re upset. I didn’t say angry. I didn’t say, upset. I said frustration. And when you do that, people are gonna feel heard. They’re gonna settle down and go, I’m talking to someone who’s getting it. You are listening to me. You are understanding what I am telling you. Just a word of warning. Only do it three times in an average 10 minute conversation. So listen up for the key emotional words and then use that word that they used back to them, but don’t overdo it because it’ll be inauthentic. Just do it, you know, once or twice or three times in 10 minutes. It works as an absolute treat.

Andy
Love that. Love that. Uh, this question here, how do we keep ourselves in check and not blow up deluxe at a customer? And I’ve had a couple of these in my days. I’ve, I’ve, I’ve honed my skills to be quite relaxed.

Ange
You’ve had some regrets.

Andy
I’ve had some regret, but I know a lot of the tradies out there, there’s sometimes where it’s like you just feel like telling them, well, I can’t say it here on the podcast , but, but uh, yeah. So what do we do in that situation?

Judeth
I like us to think of ourselves as puppets with strings. When someone makes you angry, makes you upset, even makes you happy. You are allowing them to pull your puppet strings because they made you feel what it is that you feel. Whereas as soon as we visualize ourselves as puppets and say, I am the only one who’s allowed to pull my strings, I choose. So what it is, is it’s, we need to think about how we are acting, not reacting, because as soon as we are reacting, the other person is pulling our puppet strings and we can’t go through the day thinking, I wonder what’s going to happen to me. I wonder if people are going to make me happy or make me sad. That’s very low emotional intelligence when we go through life like that. Whereas when we have high emotional intelligence, we are saying only I can make myself feel certain ways, and I am not giving people the power to pull my puppet strings. You can do what you like, you can act as you like. You can behave as you like, but I am going to choose how to act, rather than react. And as soon as you do that, you are way more in control. You way more are calling the shots, they’re not gonna push my buttons, I’m gonna be proud about how I am reacting. And of course you’re coming from the professional brain rather than the emotion.

Andy
Yeah, a hundred percent Judeth. I really understand that and I, and I’m a lot better at it now and I hope all you tradies learnt a lot from that and you can be a lot better as well.

Ange
Yeah. I like the fact that you need to be in control all the time and don’t allow how someone else acts to pull your puppet strings. I’ve gained, and I know all our listeners have gained so much from you today. Yes, this has been absolutely incredible. Communication is so important in a trade business, and we all deal with difficult customers, not just in our business, but in our entire life. So I think these skills can actually be used everywhere.

Andy
Yeah. Thanks so much today, Judeth, for joining us. It’s been a blast and we just love every moment of it. So thank you.

Judeth
My pleasure. Lovely to be here. Thanks guys.

Ange
Can you believe we’re almost at the end of season three? It actually feels like yesterday that we shared our story and started our podcasting journey.

Andy
Yeah. Wow. Hasn’t it flown? And we’ve got the next season coming in hot too. So don’t forget to jump on our website, lifestyletradie.com.au and head to our podcast page to share your tradie toolbox suggestion.

Ange
Yeah, jump on and have your say on what we can chat about next on the podcast. Plus you can find the tools and the resources that we share on each episode all in one place. So that said, catch you all next week.

Andy
See you then.

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