“I’m just a tradie…” Switching up your mindset — Guest starring Kylie Ryan, mindset coach

This week on the Podcast, Andy and Angela are joined by our favourite mindset coach, Kylie Ryan. Together, they unpack why saying “I’m just a tradie” rather than calling yourself a business owner it’s actually hurting your business and impacting your success.

Andy
Hey there, huge welcome to The Tradie Show, together in trade business. As always, I’m joined by my wife and business partner, Ange.

Ange
Hey everyone, it’s awesome to be here with you today and we have an amazing guest and good friend of mine joining us today, Kylie Ryan. So, so welcome to you, Kylie. I’m so excited that you’ll hear us today.

Kylie
Me too.

Andy
Yeah, that’s right. Kylie is a mindset coach and is here to chat to us about burnout and mental health in the trade industry. The thing that I find, Kylie, is I’m constantly hearing at this point in time, we’re in 2021. There seems to be a lot of burnout with trade business owners at the moment. I don’t know if it’s got something to do with 2020 and Covid, but I’m just finding that right at this stage, there’s a lot of trade business owners I’m talking to. Business owners, they’re making good money. A lot of things are sort of quite good in their space, but they’re just so frustrated and overwhelmed at the moment. Is this something that you see globally? Obviously you, you, you’re all over the world, and so do you actually see this yourself?

Kylie
Yeah, I do. In fact, I, uh, I’ve even been feeling a bit like stressed out myself occasionally over this last year. It’s interesting, right? There’s a lot of pressure that’s been put on us globally with the pandemic, and there’s a lot, like across many industries, there is a lot of people that are facing burnout, stress, fatigue, overwhelm, exhaustion because not only is there like all of the regular stress of running your business, now we have added pressures of, you know, family stress. You know, maybe you might have a loved one or a friend who is in the at-risk category with covid. You may have had all of your holidays removed. So all of the rest and relaxation and stress relief activities have been basically cut to nothing. You know, no matter wherever you are in the world. There’s, we’ve all faced moments of lockdown, which have been, you know, extended or, you know, shorter. There’s also the stress of feeling the economic change.

Andy
Yeah, it’s interesting. I’d like to say that in 2020 I played a very strong role. Definitely not against Covid, but it was more like, you know what? It’s there. It’s not affecting us. Let’s just get moving. And I almost tried to brush it aside as it wasn’t affecting us in Australia and, and obviously in Melbourne it did affect Sydney and we live in the Northern beaches, so it got us over Christmas. But there was an element that I sort of tried to act like it wasn’t there. Yeah. But now I’m looking forward to 2021. And talking to so many people, I’m realizing it probably had a bit of an effect on me. Now you mentioned that you noticed it yourself. It was only really around about five weeks ago. Um, I was having a chat with Ange and I really was losing my shit to be honest. And yeah, I was really just over and since then we’ve been away to Darwin and I’ve had a good holiday with the family and another holiday fishing with mates and I’ve come back revived again, but are just noticing, and it’s not just business, you know, a lot of these people I’m talking to are good, solid business owners. And I think you really touched on it. It’s everything. It’s everything. It’s the family, it’s the friends. It just seems to be something that’s bottled up at the moment and it’s at a sort of cracking point. And yes. How do we, tradies, if you are feeling like that? Like let’s face it. Yeah. Mental health and divorce rates are absolutely huge in the construction industry. I think out of all businesses we are definitely the worst and I just think there’s been more pressure on everyone now than ever before. How do we sort of fix that?

Kylie
Yeah, it’s a big question and you know, it’s really normal under high stress situations for you to go into. So I think in terms of not just mindset, but nervous system and overall well being. And so when we’re in a stress situation, you know, and if you think like back in the day caveman days, if you had a tiger running towards you, then your body goes into, you know, adrenaline overload and your blood vessels dilate and you, you know, you just run and you get out of the way and you do what needs to be done. And so that’s normal and an appropriate response in a stressed situation. And then when you get away from the tiger and you like to get back into your cave, into your safe space, then your body floods with those like, oh, the rest. Like, oh, I’m safe now. And then you might have an emotional response. You might cry, you might get angry. You might then feel all of the stress and emotions that you didn’t have the chance or the safety to feel back when the tiger was chasing you. And so when we think about this, as you know, COVID has been a prolonged expanded chronic tiger chasing us. Yeah. For the last year. And everybody across industries, you know, whether your industry has shut down or your industry has been in absolute growth, expansion, overload, everybody has been in this state of extreme stress. And then that compounds because it’s a planet like we’re, we’re all going through it at the same time. It’s not just us that’s feeling stressed. It’s our wives, it’s our kids, it’s our husbands, it’s our, you know, aunts and aunties and uncles and grandparents, and everybody’s feeling stressed. And so that means that we don’t have the space to feel what we’re actually feeling. And just like you said, it’s like you kind of push it to the side and go, oh, that isn’t such a big deal. I’m just gonna get on with it. And so you get on with it. But we’ve been getting on with it and running from that tiger for a bloody year.

Andy
We’re exhausted, we’re exhausted.

Kylie
We’re exhausted. And you know, in some other countries they’re still running from the tiger. But in Australia, like this, the situation has shifted slightly. You know, even in America there’s vaccines, but there’s even stress and conflict and, and confusion about that. And so I’ll often do this like a breath. Ah, taking a breath, it might seem like a, you know, like, why is she doing that? Taking that big breath. But like, if you do it with me now, that’s a sign for your nervous system to just let off a little bit of stress. And so, so what happens is that when the pressure kind of dies down just a little bit, That’s when we start to crack and that’s when the emotions start to come out and that’s when we start to lose our shit because suddenly you go, oh my God, I’ve been under pressure for so long. Now I can finally feel like, oh my God, that was really intense.

Ange
It sounds like, you know when someone takes a holiday and you have this buildup to get to a holiday, so all of a sudden you get like a month’s worth of work done in a week cuz you’re so excited to go on the holiday. And then you go on the holiday and then you get sick, and then you get sick. It kind of sounds a bit like that, right?

Kylie
It’s, it’s a little bit like that. And at 10 times by about a hundred . Yeah, ex, exactly. Like on steroids. Yes. So there’s a lot of different reasons why we’re going through this as a planet right now. You know, there’s also like these pressures of the, the existential kind of element. We all know somewhere in the back of our minds that there’s a lot of crazy stuff going on with the planet and the ecosystem and climate change. Like right before Covid happened, there was all of that happening as well. And so there’s a lot of this kind of building pressure that has been happening for a long period of time that even if it’s not at the front of your mind, it’s one of the extra pressures that steep in your unconscious that goes, oh, like am I safe here? Like, what’s going on? Are my kids gonna be safe in the future? That kind of thing builds up and you can’t do anything about it straight away except just work more and try and make more money and try to make as big a safety net as you possibly can. Nest. Yeah. Nest egg. Yeah.

Andy
And I think that when all this was happening, it was a real element of go, go, go, go, go. And, if I look at trade industries all around Australia, most trade business owners have more money now than they have ever, ever had before. And that’s thanks to the government and majority of us, tradies and I know not Melbourne and a few isolated areas around Australia, but haven’t even had to shut down.

Ange
Correct.

Kylie
Yeah.

Andy
And they’ve still been able to work. So, and I, and I am hearing that, you know, when we haven’t been to fly overseas and have those holidays. So we are doing it more internally. But there’s been big periods of time where people haven’t actually been switching off. Mm-hmm. . Yes. And I think that’s a really big thing I wanna ask you about. I think that that’s a very important thing for trade business owners. I just wanna point out one thing. For a lot of trade business owners out there, their number one asset in their whole business is them.

Kylie
Yes.

Andy
If they are not going well, if you are not looking after yourself, yes. Everything else suffers. Mm.

Kylie
Everything else suffers. And I think there’s, like, you’ve, you’ve pointed in onto a really key element is that, you know, yes, trade businesses have often exploded. They’ve had maybe more work than ever. They’ve had government support to, you know, subsidize incomes for, for staff and what have you. And so they might have more money than ever, but they’ve been working more than ever. Yes. And then there’s also this kind of added guilt sometimes that can come into play like, well, all of these other industries are suffering and we’ve got the opportunity to work now, so we’re gonna make hay while the sun shines and we can’t complain. Yes. And we can’t stop. And we just have to keep going, keep going, keep going. But what happens is, exactly like you said, you are the most important asset as the CEO and leader of your business. And if you break down and burn out, your business is going to suffer. And so it’s that realizing that, those long-term important, but not urgent things. Things like self-care, like getting a massage every now and then, taking a holiday, eating well, getting some exercise in for yourself. Those kinds of basic, uh, self-care priorities. They’re often the things that drop off when you’re in an extremely urgent and important kind of situation, which is a crisis, and that’s kind of what we’ve been in for the last year. We’ve been in crisis mode and now we need to shift gears and very consciously go. Ah, no, like setting boundaries. I actually need to make time to prioritize my wellbeing, my mental health, my emotional health, and my relationship with my partner. So I need to invest in those things that are long-term. It’s like what is my long-term asset? My long, my ultimate, long-term asset is my health and my relationship and my, you know, relationship with my significant other and my relationship with my kids, if I have them, they’re the most important things. What are you even running your business for if it’s not right? Yeah. What are you making all that money for? It’s for the wellbeing of yourself and your lifestyle and your family. And so if you let that slide and forget about the kind of the real top priority, then that’s going to create negative impacts and cracks will start to appear, which is what’s kind of happening now. It’s like, ah. There’s cracks here. Now we have the opportunity to address them and reset those boundaries and reset those habits and priorities.

Ange
I do think these boundaries, uh, that you talk about are really critical right now because, so important to your point with trade business owners. This world for us is how busy they are. A lot of them are actually just gonna ramp up. Yes. People aren’t traveling, they’re now spending money on their homes. The renovations have gone up and they’ve now got this incredible backlog of work. So instead of saying, I’ve got three weeks worth of work, they’re going, I’ve got three months worth of work. And I’m aware that’s not every trade business around Australia and New Zealand, but it is kind of the conversation that a lot of them are having. So I do feel, we do feel this is kind of like the next, you know, one to three years it’s gonna be like this for tradies. So yes, there is no better time than now to understand what those boundaries are and come back to the reason why they started this business, which is, you know, money was obviously important, making profit in the business was important, but the reality was they really do it for their families so they can actually take time away and actually have a break. Yes. Although Tradies are pretty good at taking a bit of a holiday. They haven’t been in the last year, I think none of us have really, I suppose, cause it’s, well they’re campers so they kind of do go away. Boundaries on themselves and putting themselves first as a priority, both them and their partner, because I’m sure you get it too, Kylie, a lot of the She’s the female, the partner. Yes. Actually works in the business, either part-time or full-time. So the way he’s feeling is the way she’s feeling. The pressures are Yes. Equal. So they both need to agree with what that looks like for our life right now? Because this isn’t gonna go away.

Kylie
Exactly. And it’s that realization, I think particularly in, in the trade industries of like, it feels like there’s so much urgency and everyone wants, like they’ve got their time, they want their renovation now, and everybody is going to have that sense of, you need to do it now, you need to do it now. And it’s really up to you as the business owner to go, you know what? I have to put you on a wait list so I can start that in a month from now, or in six weeks from now, like, if you wanna work with me, yes. This is the conditions and not trying to squeeze more things in, you know?

Andy
Yeah, yeah. And it’s like, obviously a person mentioned this to, um, on the phone, one of the tradies I was talking to, he said, you know what, it’s luck when you’re in an airplane and it says, put your oxygen mask on first before you help others. And I’m like, holy crap, I’ve never thought of that before. He’s like, it’s all over Instagram. It’s everywhere. I’m like, okay. Okay.

Ange
They even say to put that, uh, mask on yourself before you help your child.

Andy
Exactly. Because if you are not at your absolute best, then everything beneath you is suffering. So Kylie, I just wanna ask you this because if you are a tradie and you’re feeling like you’re in that bit of a zone, there’s no doubt about it. We’ve got a bit of a control freak attitude. We do get stressed some days. We come home and we do bring that stress into the family home. And you know, we’re talking about myself around four weeks ago and I filled it building, but I probably wasn’t taking it seriously until Ange just once turned me and just said, oh my God, you’re a cranky shit. And I went,

Ange
Good at that, Kylie.

Andy
And I called it and I actually stopped in my tracks and I had a little gring cuz Ange doesn’t say that very often and I. Oh, I am, you know, and it was a realization that just everything was getting the better of me. If you know, the partners are listening right now.

Kylie
Yes.

Andy
Is that the right way to call your husband out?

Ange
I do that badly .

Andy
What’s the way to be gentle? Yes. Gently answer the word, let your husband know they seem a bit stressed and how can we help?

Kylie
Yeah. I think that’s so important. And it goes to the kind of relationship that you have as to how you might approach your partner. You know? And it can go either way, right?

Ange
Yeah, both ways.

Kylie
My husband says to me when I get a bit stressed, he’s like, you know what, I’m gonna take the kids. You go for a walk and do some meditation. I think you need some time for yourself. Like ?

Ange
Yeah. Cause he knows what’s good for you. That’s really beautiful.

Kylie
Right. He knows that I just need some time alone when I get stressed. So it’s, you know, knowing what your partner needs when they’re stressed. Sometimes even before they know it. And so, you know, oftentimes we can see the stress building up in our partners before they can because this kind of emotional little, you know, ball that’s building and building over time and tradies, you know, tend to be really good with their hands, really good at getting things done and maybe not so good at the sitting, still breathing, feeling my feelings kind of thing. Like they’re really good at doing the do. Yes. And so the emotions, the, the fear. You know, like we’ve gone through fear, we’ve gone through anger, we’ve gone through frustration, you know, as a whole group, as a community. And so sometimes if we don’t let those emotions out in some kind of way, and it doesn’t mean that you have to cry in the bathtub, it could mean that you go have a beer with your mates down at the pub and just like. Oh, like, have it, get it off your chest, you know? Yeah. It could be something like that, but it’s however you need to just go, oh, like, take stock for a minute and stop the, like, stop the roller coaster for a second and just take a minute and go, God, this has been really intense and you know, taking the time and space with your loved one. And you know, that might be after the kids are in bed and going, you know, Just stop for a second. Let’s not turn on the tv. Let’s just sit and talk to each other for a minute and go like, Hey, how are you doing? I noticed that you’re a bit stressed lately and we’ve all been through a lot, and so you know, I’m feeling it. How are you feeling?

Ange
I really love the acknowledgement that you have with this, actually. I think that’s really important. Yeah, because I love the fact that you’ve even just brought up the fact. The pressure, perhaps of loved ones living overseas or interstate and you can’t see them. We’ve had children, obviously homeschooling, and I think, you know, we had a really great experience with homeschooling. Our kids were fabulous, but my mates didn’t necessarily have the same experience. So I do understand the pressure that she has. She was the one that, you know, that was kind of managing these kids or whatever. And I think it’s important to take stock of that to at least acknowledge and be aware that we’ve all been under this pressure and therefore how do we decompress? So saying that, do you have some tips that, you know, if you said, here’s a really good way, I mean, I know you’ve said we’ll do what’s good for you. Like if it means go to the pub or whatever. Yeah. But if you are the priority, you have a team that looks up to you and the business still does need to continue and it’s not gonna go away. The business is amazing. So let’s keep it amazing. Yes. But if you are the most important person in that business, both him and her, do you have some tips around that, about how they can kind of look after themselves?

Kylie
Totally. So the key is like anything, you know, that things happen in your business when you prioritize them and you put them in your calendar, right? Mm-hmm. jobs don’t happen unless you book it in. Mm-hmm. people don’t turn up to job sites unless you call them and you book them in. And so what happens is that people put their health and their well-being totally not even on the back burner, not even in their mind, not even on the calendar. So if you’ve got some good cash flow and you’re feeling like, you know, you haven’t been looking after your health, I did this myself, like, six months ago, I was like, God, I’m putting on a bit of weight cuz I’m doing too many of these Zoom calls all the time. I’m in a book about a personal trainer because I’ve reached that point in my busyness that I need someone to hold my hand and hold me accountable so I show up to exercise. So book yourself in the calendar like, book a personal trainer, get someone to, even if you feel like, oh, I know what to do, I can work out. But if you’re not showing up for yourself, get some accountability and book the important things for yourself in the calendar if that’s, you know, once a week personal trainer or a couple of times a week. A personal trainer once a month. or like once a week if you’ve, if you can possibly swing it once a week massage, like getting something in the calendar where some, like you can get massage therapists that will show up to your house and massage you in your own time. So it’s not a matter of, these things aren’t possible, it’s a matter of going, you know what, I actually need this for my own wellbeing. So it’s booking those kinds of things in the calendar if it means that you get some meal delivery service. So that you’re starting the day with a good breakfast, you know, getting good nutrition into your body, it matters. You know, starting the day with a coffee and a Mars bar is massive.

Andy
A massive can of mother and a cigarette. Like, oh gosh, I love those guys. And I’m like, my goodness God mate, how can you do that?

Kylie
Well, it’s one of those things, right? If you think about investments and withdrawal, there’s nothing wrong with it. Occasionally, if you are, yes. If you’re really under pressure and you’ve just gotta show up, yeah, like having a coffee and just pushing yourself through occasionally, that’s okay. But if you’re doing that day after day, you are just making withdrawals on your health bank account. And so eventually you’re going to go into the red and you’re going to get sick and you’re going to have to then stop your business because you might have some kind of major health illness, like people get cancer all the time, and those types of lifestyle choices affect your outcomes with health and wellbeing. It’s like if you want to have longevity with your health, with your kids, with your business, you must invest in your health. It’s just like it’s a non-negotiable in the same way that you put money in your bank account for your nest egg and you put money in your business to grow your business. You’ve got to put money and time into your health and wellbeing to make sure that it’s going to be there for you.

Andy
Yeah, and I don’t think there’s a person listening right now that disagrees with anything we’re saying. Right?

Kylie
Exactly.

Andy
And if I look at the most successful business owners that we work with, they are the ones that put time aside for themselves. They’re the fittest. They’re not the biggest bulkiest gym junkies, but they go into their infrared sauna and they do ice baths. And yes, they’ve got a routine of what they need, a routine to do. That’s it. To make sure they’re getting it. And they’re the ones that are absolutely smashing out the park. And if you look into some of them, the billionaires and the most wealthy around the world, a lot of them have this regime as well. And there’s not a person listening to this that doesn’t agree. Yeah. So what is stopping us tradies from freaking doing it. Yeah. And just saying, fuck this, I’m gonna book somebody in now.

Kylie
I’m gonna book it in. Ok. So this speaks to some deeper mindset issues, right? So a lot of people tend to go into trades, right? You know, they might identify with this kind of feeling of a warrior or a protector or a guardian, like you’re making homes for people. You’re building things. You’re creating things. So there’s this sense of a person who is a warrior or a protector of the tribe. Does that make sense? From a kind of energy standpoint, it’s like the person who looks after other people and, and so when we are the type of person that looks after other people and other people are in need, then often, we can put ourselves on the back burner and go, I’m strong. I can continue on. I can show up for this. I’ll just have another energy drink and show up and I’ll just get this done. And so it’s that energy of, and that mindset of I’ve got to do it. No one else is gonna do it. They need me. I need to keep showing up. That’s the kind of story. That people might be telling themselves. I dunno if you know any of you guys listening, recognize this.

Ange
Not the nodding from us.

Andy
No one else can do it. I can only do it. I’ve just gotta do it. And it’s like, well, you don’t have to do anything. You’re in business to make your own decisions. Yeah. And if your business is wearing you out and affecting you personally and your family, and even the way you run your business, stop it. Yes. Take a breath and limit what you do. You can’t be everything for everyone.

Ange
Prioritize.

Kylie
Exactly. Exactly. And that’s the thing it is like, it feels like it’s going to take a lot of time out of your day. That’s the story that you, I can’t take the time out. It’s gonna take too much time away. But what you don’t realize when you’re in that kind of mindset is that you are actually reducing, like over time, you’re slowly reducing and eroding your performance, your mental, you know, flexibility, your mental strength, and so your performance is actually diminishing over time. So it’s going to take you longer to get things done. You’re going to make more mistakes, you’re going to have more blowups with your wife and your kids that then take time and energy to repair if it’s even possible to repair them. You know, like you said, that there’s more divorces than ever. Divorce is gonna cost you a shit load of money. And also like emotional pain. Like you can’t put that back in the box, you know? So being able to prioritize the things that really matter. And put them on the calendar. And so that means something like people have been saying for years, a monthly date night, with your partner, maybe a quarterly getaway with your partner. So leave your kids with the grandparents or get a babysitter. Having time is like investing time in your relationship and in your health. Putting it in the calendar with a recurring calendar, you know, popup. That’s non-negotiable, like getting your personal trainer, getting someone who’s making you breakfast or making sure that you’re getting a smoothie or something in for breakfast that gives you some good nutrition. It’s going to save you time. It’s not going to cost you time. It’s going to make you perform better and save you in the long run.

Andy
Just a question. I had a tradie come up to me and, and I’ve got a very, you know, an attitude of just do it sort of attitude, and maybe it’s an old school attitude. I find it a lot harder with the younger crew coming through and combing their hair and doing all that stuff to make them feel amazing and, uh, and, and, you know, I struggle with that, so. Mm-hmm. I had the tradie that came up to me and he just said, Andy, I love what you can do, just do an attitude. Mm. I struggle to resonate with that. I have my own demons. And when you do that, it actually makes me feel worse. Yes. And I was a bit gobsmacked and I didn’t really know what to say. So in that regard, am I doing something wrong here or what’s the way to answer? What would you say to that, Kylie?

Kylie
Yeah, so there’s kind of two ways that we can think about this. So one of the ways that I use this mindset is whatever triggers us, like whatever we think, oh, I couldn’t do that. Oh, what a, like whatever story you tell yourself in your head. Oh, grooming, oh, what a waste of time. Or, oh, what a this or that, whatever you might say to yourself, that’s an indication. So the grooming and the like, that’s an indication of self-care. So there’s a balance between. , the things that kind of trigger you or that make you go, oh, I wouldn’t wanna be like that. That kind of pushes you away. And it’s funny because those are the things that we actually need the most because the things that you like to push away from are the things that actually have some medicine for you or some kind of gift for you. But there’s some story that you’re telling yourself that is stopping you from receiving that medicine. Does that make sense?

Andy
Yeah, I get what you’re saying. You’re saying that in, in that regard, they’ve potentially gotta go, well, hang on. Why do I feel like that? The fact that Andy said it like this, why do I feel, why do I react like it’s attacking me? Because yes, I was just doing, uh, Facebook Live, to be honest. And he’s a lovely guy. Love him to death. Yeah. Best mates, you know, whatever. But I just. I didn’t know how to deal with that instance. Yeah. So if they are feeling that way, that this go getting, just do it attitude doesn’t suit them. Other tradies out there are listening now. Yeah. How do they do it?

Kylie
Yeah. Perfect. So it kind of goes both ways because there’s a piece of. , you know the things that you don’t want to go into or that feels like a stretch or vulnerable for you. Like maybe you are just doing it a bit too much and they’re not just doing it enough. Yes. So it’s those stories that we tell ourselves and there’s a lot of cultural conditioning and social conditioning around, you know, men at different. There are really strong generational differences and you know, we track it with baby boomers to Gen Xs, to Gen Ys, to Gen Zs or whatever we’re up to now in millennials . It’s like, oh my God. And all of the different conditioning at each of these different stages, it changes the stories and the narratives that we tell ourselves. And so for a, you know, gen X and above, then that attitude of just do it. Just push through. Being a tough guy is more of the, like, that’s the celebrated thing to do. And then in maybe a younger generation, the idea of, you know, looking good or having a, you know, good looking selfie or what, you know, what, having a nice suit or showing up, you know, with pretty nails or whatever might be, you know, more of an aspirational idea that wouldn’t have been for the previous generation. And so it’s recognizing ah huh what are the stories that I’m telling myself? In my own head and that feeling of, is this working for me? Because everybody’s going to have different values and everybody’s gonna have different ways of living their life. And so it’s not for me to say that you should live your life anyway, but it’s for you to ask yourself, am I happy? Am I satisfied? Am I fulfilled with the way that my life is currently? And are there things that I’m frustrated with, exhausted by? Tolerating and getting really burnt out by that, maybe need some changes. And so for anyone who’s getting, you know, like, oh God, she’s talking, she’s talking to me. It’s like taking those places where you are frustrated or you are burnt out or getting upset and really using that as a diving board to investigate. And what happens is that most people get , like they shame themselves and then they kind of put it in a box and don’t wanna look at it and ignore it and go, oh, I don’t have a problem there. Like, just sweep it female to do, it’ll be fine. Right? And so and so. Instead, I just wanna offer that. That you can go, oh, everybody has challenges. Everybody has areas of their life where they feel vulnerable or you know, under pressure or stretched, and that’s normal. That’s human. And we have been squeezed like nothing else over the last year. And it’s okay to feel stressed. It’s okay to feel under pressure. It’s okay to feel exhausted and instead of sweeping it under the carpet, Or just ignoring it. It’s an opportunity to get curious and say, Hey, what needs to change so that I can live a happy, energized, productive, joyful life. That is, my business is still running well, but I’m feeling good while I’m doing it. Yes. And so it’s, it’s that. That shift from shaming yourself to being curious and going, huh, everybody’s under stress. How can I get curious about what I can control and make some changes to support myself? Because I’m the most, you know, you are the most important person in your business.

Andy
The number one asset, the number one asset.

Ange
Not only to be aware of that for themselves, but aware of those around them, their entire team, their partner, even their children perhaps. So really, really great take outs and I’m sure everyone listening today has taken huge, amazing, huge information from that. So, Kylie.

Kylie
Yes.

Ange
We love playing a little game actually with all of our guests and we ask you a couple of rapid questions, okay. So that they’re really short questions that you can answer within 30 seconds. Are you up for it?

Kylie
Sure. Let’s play . Okay.

Ange
Three questions. What drove you to become a mindset coach?

Kylie
Uh, my own suffering.

Andy
Great, great answer. So obviously you’ve been through it, you’ve learned how to fix it and, you know, no different to us in our trade business. Yeah, we’ve failed and we’ve turned it around and now we teach others. It’s exactly what you are saying as well.

Kylie
Yeah, exactly the same. I was overweight in debt, partying, lonely, and thought I would never find love. I was really struggling, wanted to be a singer, and someone just came into my life when I was in my kind of peak moment of stress and said, Hey, do you wanna try this thing? And we did some sessions and it literally, it was like my life turned from black and white into color. It was astonishing.

Ange
That’s amazing.

Kylie
Changing your mindset changes everything.

Ange
So that’s a perfect segue to my next question, which is what’s the most rewarding thing about helping people achieve their potential?

Kylie
Oh, seeing the change in people when they make a breakthrough and they, you know, release and let go of some story that has been binding them and stopping them from living their truth and their joy in that moment when their face changes. And then seeing the ongoing shifts of changes to family and to children. Businesses. It’s just, it’s so amazing.

Ange
Yeah. We a hundred percent agree with that. Yeah. Doing that inside our business, know it. Agree. Hundred percent. So just to relate this back to tradies.

Kylie
Yes.

Ange
Is there one tool that you can provide advice about how they can set themselves up for a great day?

Kylie
Mm, good one. Okay. So the simplest way to set yourself up for a great day is to visualize. Get in your head, what is the top priority that I want to be focused on today? And then look at your calendar, and as you go through your calendar, imagine the ultimate positive outcome of each and every one of those things. And then imagining getting into bed with your partner at the end of the day, being like, huh, that was an amazing day. So it’s playing your day in advance and setting the tone for how am I gonna show up to meet this day? It’s how am I going to bring my best self into this day? Because if something is missing in your day, it’s probably more of your presence and your attention and your care. So bringing more care and presence and intention into the day will totally change your day no matter what you’ve got on the calendar.

Ange
Attitude. Yeah.

Kylie
Attitude.

Ange
A huge part, doesn’t it? Attitude. It all starts with the way we’re thinking. Therefore, it’s the way our self-talk happens. Then we verbalize it out loud and therefore it comes out in our actions about how our day kind of plays out.

Andy
Yeah, definitely. As tradies, we rarely talk about having a good mindset and our mental state. I think it’s because it’s not the easiest thing to talk about, and so often we just tend to shy away from it. Kylie, it’s been absolutely amazing having you here today. I mean, there’s so many things that resonate with myself and no doubt all the tradies out there. So I just wanna say a huge, huge thank you.

Kylie
Thank you. Thank you for having me. It’s such a joy to be able to share some kind of nuggets of wisdom, and if it helps, that’s what I’m here for.

Andy
You know what, guys? That is it from all of us here today. Until then, catch you next time.

Ange
Thanks so much.

Kylie
Thank you so much, guys. See you later.

Andy
Bye.

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