Sharper Tools, Sharper Mind: Elevating Trade Skills with Chelsea Pottenger

Chelsea
That’s so true. And they sometimes think that it’s making the tradies soft. Right? The older generation isn’t making the, isn’t making us too soft, this mental health stuff. And the thing is, I think, you know, with this whole stigma and, and just debunking all that kind of stuff. I always feel like, you know, say for example, you, I don’t know, you tear your ACL in your knee. People will say to you, Andy, how are you doing, man? Are you okay? Like how, how are you recovering? You know, and there’s no stigma, right? You do your knee. Yep. And we talk about it. But up here, when you say, Hey, I’ve got anxiety or, and people say, just shake it off, mate, it’s all in your head. You never say that to someone with an ACL injury. You don’t go, Hey, Andy, mate, walk it off. It’s all in your leg. That’s such a good point.

Andy
Yeah, it is a good point.  

You’re listening to The Tradie Show. This is the podcast for trade business and contracting bosses like you, who want to lead with confidence, make more profit and create a better lifestyle.

Ange
We’re your hosts, Andy and Angela Smith, husband & wife team and co-founder of Lifestyle Tradie. Are you ready to have some fun? 

Andy
Hell yeah! 

Imagine this. No more late nights quoting and invoicing. No more second guessing your business decisions. No more missing out on hanging with your mates and feeling like a slave to your business. If you want to create more freedom, make bigger profits, learn how to utilise AI in your business, build a dream team behind you, and finally get off the tools. Come and see us at Lifestyle Tradie on Tour. We’re coming to a capital city near you for a day of no bullshit. Reserve your free ticket at  lifestyletradie.com.au to learn how to work smarter, not harder. But don’t just take our word for it.  

Member’s Testimony
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We knew that we needed to know numbers, but we didn’t know which numbers to look at and learning the right numbers to be watching and the right numbers to be looking at was able to double and triple our business really within a year, two years. I’m a hundred percent sold on that. It’s worth it. Just do it. 

Andy
As a self confessed high performer, doing 12 hour work days, training for triathlons, and smashing back a ton of coffees on the daily, to burning out, becoming suicidal, and landing in a psychiatric hospital. Today’s very special guest has a powerful story of coming back from rock bottom and using her experience to launch a new mission of improving mental health in the workplace.

Ange
Chelsea is an international wellbeing speaker, founder of EQ Minds, ambassador for mental health charities that include R U OK? and the Gidget Foundation. She’s the author of a fabulously practical yet scientific book called The Mindful High Performer. Chelsea worked with Google, eBay, and was recently with our members of Lifestyle Tradie at a Reignite and Reunite Live event. What a treat. Today, Chelsea joins us to share her passion of helping busy minds, reset, recharge, and navigate the challenges of everyday life. Chelsea, an absolutely massive welcome to you to the show. So great to have you with us. 

Chelsea
Thank you so much, Ange and Andy. What an absolute treat to be here with you both. I’m so pumped for this podcast. So thanks for having me as a guest. 

Andy
That’s okay. And you know, the thing is, as Ange mentioned, you’ve been at our last event and you’re an absolute superstar. And so many people have changed the way they’re doing their lives. I’m talking about tradies, business owners. I’ve changed the way they start the day and they do their lives. And I’ve even got a few people that have made some huge steps in their mental health. So I just want to say a big thank you for that. I know you have plenty to share today, so let’s not waste a moment. I’d love to start with your personal journey because you know what, it’s a powerful one. And in your own words, can you please share with us your story? Because what you do now wasn’t always on the original career plan, was it Chelsea? 

Chelsea
It definitely wasn’t Andy. I think, you know, and my, my story might sound familiar to a few people of how I used to live. And that is the, you know, the 12 hour days that rise and grind, no rest day, gin to take the edge off the stress at night.  Uh, I used to love socializing and then in the morning, you know, a lot of coffee, triathlon training, and then just pace it again. And that was the pace I lived, it was work hard, work out hard, party hard. That was the trifecta that I lived, and it was a pretty unsustainable pace. And then 2015, my world changed, because that was the year that we finally found out that we’re having a baby and it took us seven years to fall pregnant, Ange and Andy. So as you can imagine, you know, when you finally find out you’ve been, you’re about to have a baby after trying for so long, that you’re really in this sense of elation. You’re just so happy that it’s finally happened. And then the most ironic thing happens to me. And the reason why I say ironic is because I’m an optimistic person by nature. However, nine weeks post birth, I end up sliding into a psychiatric hospital, fighting for my life. I had terrible suicidal ideation. I was suffering something severely called postnatal depression. And the safest place I could honestly be was laying in a hospital bed. And I always feel like, you know, in life, when adversity turns up, you get to a fork in the road and you have to make a couple of new choices with your life. And so I was laying there in the hospital bed and I thought, wow, I can either return back to Sydney, fast paced lifestyle as a general manager, living that really crazy life, or do I learn and I grow from the gift that almost like this universe has just served up to me in a way. So at the end of the five week stay, my weapon of a psychiatrist, she’s so awesome, I still send her a card every year to say thanks for saving my life.  She said to me at the end of the five week stay, she’s like, Chels, you have this really weird fascination with your brain, you’re a really lovely person, and you’ve walked through the shoes of a very unwell patient. I think you’d make a lovely psychologist. And that was the petty drop. And I thought, yeah, okay, I could do that. So I left the hospital, I moved to the south coast to a very small surf town. I went back to university. I’m still there studying psychology. It’s a really long journey to become a clinical psychologist. But to be honest, Ange and Andy, you know, the mission was then born and that was this. I never wanted anyone who’s listening right now on this podcast or anyone across our country or across the world, in fact, to ever end up where I had, which was in a psychiatric hospital, laying in a bed. I didn’t want that for anyone. I had this flame inside me going, I’ve got to stop this. I’ve got to help people make sure they don’t fall into the river. And so I started a company called EQ Minds that was back in 2016 and that was with great support from my husband and my family and friends. And uh, to date we’ve trained about 2 million people across the world.

Ange
So amazing.

Chelsea
I get so much joy, right? Like when I worked with you both and your amazing network, that’s not work. Like that was just so joyful to be on stage and good healthy bands up with your audience and it was just awesome. 

Andy
I will just say, on that, you know, tradies are a different breed, aren’t they? And there’s no doubt you had a connection with every single person in that room in about two seconds. And that’s, that is, you know, having that connection. Not everyone has that when they come on stage. Tradies are a different beast to a lot of different people out there, but you certainly fit in with our tribe. That’s for sure. 

Chelsea
Thank you so much. I think a part of that is being a country kid, you know, like growing up in Aubrey and, A lot of my mates are tradies and we work a lot with rural councils and things like that. So it’s just like hanging out with a bunch of mates, to be honest. 

Ange
So now that you have taken this new journey and this epiphany of what you want life to look like, there’s no doubt you’ve had and are learning so much about the mind and our brain. So what do you think we should understand about our mind and our brain that we were actually never really taught growing up?

Chelsea
It’s a good question. There’s so many things.

Ange
I can imagine. 

Chelsea
I think we need to be aware of.

Ange
Where do I start? 

Chelsea
Yeah, I think I’ll just give one because I think this is super cool and I never knew about it until I learned about this at university is a thing called neuroplasticity, which just means that we can change our brain. It’s not like this fixed structure that we once thought it was, you know, you get this brain that’s genetically handed down to you from your gene line. But the cool thing is, is that, you know, we actually, you know, we’ve got this deck of cards and how we choose to play them is kind of up to us and we can actually change and manipulate the brain to respond in different ways. And that will happen for us until the day we die. And so I think that’s a super cool thing of understanding of going, well, you know, genetics wise, 50 percent is kind of genetically handed down and then 50 percent is kind of up for grabs, like the environment, the way that we train the brain. Things like that. So I think that is just magnificent to know that, that we have the empowerment to actually change the way that our brain responds and looks. So I thought that was really cool. 

Ange
Always learning, right? Always learning. 

Andy
I just love that because you do have some people out there when it’s, it always happens to me that they’ve got that mentality. Um, and they fall down that path of, you know, I get all the bad luck. This happens, and what you just said there is it doesn’t matter how hard life is, what’s happening in your world. You can change the way, it’s up to you. If you think about it and you want it, there’s nothing stopping you from changing it. Majority of people can’t do it around you. They can help you and they can guide you, but only you can fix it. 

Chelsea
How true is that? You know, in psychology, we see, you know, psychological victims versus psychological victors, psychological survivors, and how we can look at adversity with a growth mindset and what we can learn from that experience to help us grow. And one of the key words, and it’s just these little mindset reframes, isn’t it? Like a keyword, for example, and something that my lecturer taught me when I was bitching to her about my commute from the South Coast to Sydney, right? On a two hour train. 

Ange
Oh, terrible.

Chelsea
And I’m like, Oh, I have to commute. And she said, I’m going to give you a new reframe to unlock the front part of the brain, the prefrontal cortex to make that sort of life stressor now starting to unravel that as an opportunity in your life. And so instead of saying, I have to from now on, I want you to say, I get to, I get two hours back in my calendar every day. When I get on that train, I get to listen to a podcast. I get to do research at uni. I get to socially connect. And that word unlocks kind of everything, right? Sometimes we do dress up life as a stress, but really when we change it, we can really view that as an opportunity rather than, and almost like a blessing, right? Rather than such a stressor in our lives. So I thought that Changing I have to till I get to that kind of changed the game for me. 

Andy
I just had a bit of a funny story because this is something that I’ve done over the years, but it’s sort of become more apparent to me now. And when I walk into the office in the morning, I normally say, Hey guys, how are you going? And I’m always pretty happy or whatever. And people will say, How are you today? And I’ve realized that the days when I aren’t at my best, I am better. So I’m amazing, or I’m incredible. And a few of the staff have picked up on it. When I’m actually having a bit of a downer day, cause everyone has down days. When I come in, I try and say these words to Beat me up. I’m incredible. I’m king of the world. Let’s go, baby. You know, like I popped myself up, but they’re those little things that I didn’t realize I did, but just changing my mindset around, Oh, I feel a bit bad today. Cause I had a few drinks last night or this happened or that happened. I had a bad sleep, you know, all those negative things. I turn it around to positive actions.

Chelsea
I love that. I love that, Andy. It’s a bit like your, you know, your RAS, we call the reticular activating system that what you’re focusing your attention to gets through to the brain, right? We’ve got 2 million bits of data coming at us every couple of seconds, like taking right now, right? You’re not thinking about your feet on the ground or your heart pumping and things like that. What you’re allowing into the brain, you’ve got almost like a bouncer there, and it’s going to deflect out things that it views that your brain doesn’t see as valuable. And it’s only going to let the things in that, it views, that you want to see. It’s like the algorithms, right? On your Instagram feed. It’s serving up stuff that it thinks you’re going to click on. So if you start saying things like that, it’s almost like your brain is always listening. 

Ange
You are literally brainwashing yourself, aren’t you? Verbally. 

Chelsea
You are brainwashing yourself. 

Ange
So what you say, you’ll start believing.

Chelsea
It is so true. It will embed down in every cell of your being. And so be really mindful with your words. I think that’s a really important thing. And as you were saying, Andy, it’s okay to have a shitty day some days. I have down days too. Yeah. Yeah. It’s important to, to definitely talk about that because you know, it’s an important part of the human being to, to feel all emotions.

Andy
And let’s talk about tradies when you say that, because being a tribe business owner is tough. Being a tradie at times is tough. You’re going to have good days. You’re going to have bad days, but we know these days, mental health issues are massive in the trade and construction industry, like massive, and tradies aren’t really managing these health issues in the healthiest of ways, like we seem to mask it. We’re not feeling good, so we smash a couple of beers down. We party way too hard on the weekend. We do all these other things. So why do you think so many people are suffering with so much stress these days, which seems to be leading to this massive anxiety and depression these days? It’s on everyone’s lips. And I know we come from a Drink a cup of concrete mentality, but us business owners, we have this, but even the young tradies coming through, it’s very aligned in who they are these days. 

Chelsea
Yeah, absolutely. And it is a concern right in the trading world that there’s still a stigma. I really do believe that around mental health. I think it’s getting better, you know, normalizing conversations. 

Andy
Getting a lot better and everyone’s more aware of it. But just being honest, we still have some people going, these woke kids just don’t want to work. So we still have some things, and I know that’s a hard position to be playing in, especially with baby boomers or starting to retire. You know, the majority of the baby boomers are almost finished their working journey now. So it’s a new breed coming through. 

Chelsea
That’s so true. And they sometimes think that it’s making the tradies soft, right? The older generation isn’t making that, isn’t making us too soft. It’s meant to help stuff. And the thing is, I think, you know, with this whole stigma and just debunking all that kind of stuff. I always feel like, you know, say for example, you, I don’t know, you tear your ACL in your knee, right?

Andy
I’ve done two of those. 

Chelsea
And the first thing, right? So you know this well. Yeah. Yeah. And people will say to you. Andy, how are you doing, man? Are you okay? Like how, how are you recovering? You know, and there’s no stigma, right? You do your knee and we talk about it. But up here, when you say, Hey, I’ve got anxiety or, and people say, just shake it off, mate. It’s all in your head. You never say that to someone with an ACL injury. You don’t go, Hey, Andy, mate, walk it off.  

Ange
That’s such a good point. 

Andy
Yeah, it is a good point. 

Chelsea
And it’s this whole, we don’t shame people if they’ve got diabetes or cancer and we need to start looking at the brain like an organ. Which it is like the heart, like other organs in the body. And so I think that whole thing of normalizing the conversation is really, really important. I think also the other thing with, uh, with trades and small businesses, you know, we have a small business as well. Gosh, we all work bloody hard. Don’t we? And no one sees the hard work behind the scenes. They don’t see us up at 4am cranking out stuff. And, but you know what? There’s a lot of upside to having your own business too. 

Andy
Definitely. 

Chelsea
But I think there’s a mindset shift also that’s happening too. And I’m just going to share a quick story with you all because as my daughter, that brought this to my attention, it was a Friday afternoon, Clara’s like, mommy, you’ve been working super hard. Why don’t you be a kid for a while? And we play Mario Brothers together. And I’m like, yeah, all right. So Clara pours me a champagne. Cause you know, she’s  my soulmate.  

Ange
At the ripe old age of what? Five?

Chelsea
No, she’s nine. She’s nine. She knows how to pop a cork these days. She’s good rock mumbling actually. 

Ange
The best.

Chelsea
And, uh, so I’m sitting there and I’m having a great time playing for it. But. I have this almost epiphany moment, and I think I’m two champagnes in. So I’ve got a bit of a buzz on and I’m looking at Mario playing this game with Clara and I’m like, Oh my gosh. As human beings, I think they’re Mario. And she’s like, what do you mean, mommy? I said, do you know what we do in this life? We run through life, collecting the coins to get to the end, get the coins, get to the end, get the coins, get to the end. And we never savor the moment. As soon as we make that level, we then level up. And sometimes we run into trolls along the way, right? And they take our money. And then I was thinking, but unlike Mario brothers, we can’t trade in the coins to get another life. And I think this is a really important message in terms of mental health with us and tradies and small businesses is that we work so bloody hard to get the money, right? To, to get to the end, we need ways to actually start enjoying the moment and putting in things day to day. So we have longevity, but also the enjoyment of why we’re working so hard. And so I think as a fulfilling in, you know, human being, there’s so many elements of what success looks like. And yeah, absolutely. You know, definitely earn good money. So it is an enabler for us to do great things in this life. However, we need some other things going on. Say our mental health doesn’t suffer and we don’t end up with Alzheimer’s or dementia in our seventies. Uh, so I wanted to share that story cause I just was literally thinking about it and I was playing with the car and I thought, wow! 

Andy
Yeah, it’s a great story. And I suppose I just want to touch on, that’s why we’re called Lifestyle Tradie, the freedom to choose. Because it’s all well and good to make money and we all need to make money and we want to make money, but there’s a real point of you’ve got to have the lifestyle. For me, I’d rather have a great family, a great lifestyle, be loving my life through all those years than just working my butt off, making all the money and throwing it in, in the bank, you know? So. I think lifestyle is such a big thing and too many tradies are, they’re just bogged down in the day to day operations that don’t know a way out. They can’t get out. They feel like they can’t tell anyone because they are working so bloody hard. They’re not great to their family. So then even when they come home, the wife isn’t happy, the kids aren’t happy. So they’re getting flogged from every angle, their staff’s not happy, and they just don’t know a way out of it. It’s really tough at times. 

Ange
Well, we all know how stressful as we’ve talked about owning a small business is and the pressure never goes away and their intention is to grow a team. So now everything just compounds. So the chaos continues if they haven’t actually set it up the right way and been profitable. So that being said, I’d be really interested to hear your opinion about this Chelsea, about how we can actually help start changing this conversation with trade business owners in the workplace or even on the job site so that they realize how important it is to look after themselves.

Chelsea
Yeah, that’s thank you. I think that’s so important. And you know, as I said before, I get it, right? I’m sitting in the shoes of a small startup myself. It used to be me, then it’s like now I’m up to 11 people, right? And I know, I know the challenges with scale. Yeah. And also how do you sustain, right? That work life balance and also to get it to a stage where your Maslow hierarchy needs are met. You know, you can afford your mortgage or your rent, you got food, you got shelter, you got your healthcare paid for. Because those first few years,  They’re bloody. They’re really hard. They’re really hard. And you got to get to a place where you actually have all those things kind of sorted out, you know, and then lifestyle definitely, well, I think lifestyle is really important from day one. So you don’t end up burning out and just resenting and being cynical, right, towards what you’ve actually created for yourselves. So I think, you know, changing those conversations, that workplace side, some really, you know, Easy things like easy wins, I think, is one, just being totally aware of what to spot in terms of signs and symptoms for your own mental health and well being, you know, R U OK? Beyond Blue, those kinds of organizations have got great websites and I’ll literally just jump on the website, take a photograph of what the signs and symptoms are. Like education is so empowering because then we’re like, Oh my gosh, I’m taking that. I’m not sleeping that well at the moment. Yeah. I don’t want to socially connect with people either right now. Taking that. So not only just for ourselves, but also for our team members, just thinking, hang on a second, last time I saw him, he was talking about, you know, not feeling himself and that’s the time, right, to go and have a conversation. So whenever you are asking someone about their mental health, a couple of things that I would just encourage you to think about is one, are you ready yourself to have the conversation, right? You have to have your cup pretty full to have these conversations with other people.

Ange
Agreed. 

Chelsea
Two, safe space. You know, you’re not going to come into, I don’t know, on site and go, Hey, mate, you alright today? I noticed that you’re not sleeping that well in front of like 10 guys, like that’s not going to go, go down well for that person. And then three, is how are you today? How are you today? I’ve been noticing and you come to them with evidence. I’ve noticed mate that you’ve, you’ve gone through a massive life change. You’ve just had a baby, right? That’s a huge life change. How are you going with that? I’ve just heard, you know, you told me that your, your wife’s just got diagnosed with cancer. How are you going through? That must be really bloody hard. Are you doing okay today? Right. So come to them with evidence, not just how are you going? Cause they’re going to go, I’m fine. Right. So evidence, safe space, check in. And then it’s the time just to take a good listen. You know, not to vent about our own problems, just really Asking them how they’re doing, pause, really listen to them, and then encourage action. Yes. You know, that sounds really hard. What do you think we should do as a next step? Should we go speak to them, should you go speak to your GP? And depending where they are, right, on that sort of spectrum of mental ill health, like if they’re saying to you, mate, I’m not good, like I’m, I’m having suicidal thoughts. I would stay right with them and make a quick phone call right to the suicide hotline or to lifeline and stay with that person and see what we can do to get them to safety. And uh, you know, things like upskilling ourselves, right? Mental health first aid training or suicide first aid training just to give us the frameworks and languages of how to have those conversations. And so I think that’s a good place to begin in the round of how we can change the conversation on site and just normalize it, right? Like as a leader of your, uh, trade business. And if your sister or your brother and they feel comfortable with you sharing that story has gone through something, that vulnerability and authenticity is what breaks down the stigma. And so I think sharing stories is also a really good thing if you feel comfortable enough to do that. 

Andy
Yeah, a hundred percent. And more and more of our members are taking this on. Like we, we talk about the stigma of drinking a cup of concrete. We always have a bit of a laugh, us older blokes, but we are changing. There’s no doubt about it. All of our members are changing. And quite a few of them are coming to me with, Hey, I got this guy and he’s been a gun for years, but all of a sudden he’s not. And just exactly what you said, I said, well, what’s going on in his world? He goes, well, I don’t really know. I don’t want to dive into his world. He just works for me. I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, no. That’s not the answer, you need to actually go and have a, as you said, have a chat with him and see where he’s at. So a million things that it could be, but it is changing. And some of our members are actually getting people to come in for talks and they have like toolbox meetings and people are talking about all this kind of stuff. And the people that are doing that are actually getting more out of their team. And they’re staying for longer. I’ll say that again. They’re getting more out of their team and they’re staying for longer because these are really good tradies. They’ve been trade, good tradies for years, but you’ve got to make sure when something’s not right, chat with them, find out.

Ange
Well, change the culture, right? Now you, as a business owner, it is your responsibility to look after your entire team and show that you truthfully care and you want them around long term. So it’s not just about work. It’s actually about their mental state there and what happens outside of the work environment.

Chelsea
That’s so true, Ange and Andy. It’s that, you know what the side benefit is, is productivity and high performance.

Andy
Agree. 

Chelsea
But that, and that’s what happens when you really care. You generally really care. And as you’re saying, you know, the high performer that all of a sudden is not performing well, Don’t go in and berate them going, mate, you’re just not lifting and what’s wrong with you at the moment. Yeah. You go in there and say, Hey, buddy, I’ve just not, I’ve noticed lately, right? That you, you know, you’re turning up late to site or are you doing okay today? Like what’s going on in your world right now? I’m right here to support you. Like I really care about you. You doing all right? So those really genuine conversations are so important and it could also be, you know, we work with construction companies and it could be, you know, your pre site before you get up on that construction site for the day, you know, you do your physical hazards, right? Yeah. Yeah. Boys, winds up, watch out for that crane over there today. Also from a mental, right, from a mental health perspective,  hey, don’t forget that this is, you could give them a quick tool, a quick breathwork tool if you’re feeling highly stressed or, you know, just want to share a quick story. Two weeks ago at a different site, my mate’s site said that Gary had this issue going on in his family. This is kind of what he did. He got, you know, got some help and now he’s going really well. So either a tool or a case study share. And just, you know, those kinds of things of just normalizing the conversation that, yeah, physical hazards are done. If you’ve got sustainability goals, that’s done. And then your mental health hazards are done because also don’t forget everyone listening with your psychosocial hazard legislation changes that happened last November in 2023. You are liable. So you need to make sure that you are protecting your team and protecting yourself and making sure, you know, physical hazards are really, really important. Trip hazards, making sure that boys are harnessed up properly, but also psychological hazards are now just as important with WorkSafe Australia. So it’s really important you get compliant. 

Andy
And I just had another thought, you know, we’re talking about Going to them and having a chat and going early, don’t leave it too late. And I just thought about my son, who’s a rep soccer player. And there’s a guy on his team. There’s a stop performing at his best. We all know he’s a great player. So I said to my son, I said, well, why don’t you try and pick him up? Have a chat with him, talk to him at training. When he does something good, pump him up, make him feel good about himself. And he’s been doing that for a couple of months now. And this player now is getting to where he should be. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a kid, if it’s an adult, it doesn’t matter who it is. When you pump someone’s tires up, they feel good about themselves and they act accordingly. So I love everything you just said then. I just want to talk about trade business owners that have a tough day.  And don’t get me wrong, I’ve definitely done this for many, many years. They have a tough day at work, and the first thing they do when they walk in the house is straight to the back fridge, they crack a beer or they pour themselves a scotch and they’re like, I need this to switch off. So have you got some advice for tradies that do that? Cause you know, they want to leave the job site mentally and just not physically. So they’re using that to take the edge off. 

Chelsea
I, I, I understand that. I totally get that. And you know, I, I also drink alcohol, you know, Friday night, I can guarantee you I’m cracking a nice bottle of champagne. I love having a drink. I love having coffee. Uh, yeah, totally where I’m going. 

Andy
In moderation these days for me.

Chelsea
In moderation. Same here. Same here with me, Andy. So. For me, Monday to Friday, I just don’t drink. It’s just a thing I have in my life. I need to be on time for work. Like I need really good sleep and I need to have good energy for the next day. And I want to be sharp up here. That’s where the competitive edge is. So I, you know, we are coming home and we’ve got a really cool, it’s almost like a shower for the brain is what we call it. It’s like a micro shower. We call them transitions in psychology. And so this could be an option for people who are listening. Right. And we’re all adults, right? You can make your own decisions around drinking booze. However, this is a healthier  strategy that you can try out and I find it really effective for my life too. So right before you get in the front door, okay, because you have the same brain at work as what you do at home. If you don’t have some kind of transitioning tool there, you’re bringing in your work stresses into your family life and you’re dumping on your wife or your kids or your flatmate or whatever. So we need something as a line in the sand to say, Hey, let’s wash the day off. Let’s start our home life now. And so there’s a really cool thing that I do before I get in the front door, I sit in the car and they’re called transitions. There’s a few little steps to this. So if you want to jot down notes, please feel free to do that.

So number one, you need to do some kind of breath work, right? To down regulate your high stress brain, uh, and to bring it back into alignment. So when we’re training in the military, uh, we use a box breathing technique and that helps them for calmness as well as sort of refocus and sharpness. And so what that kind of looks like, and you can imagine just like, you know, a square or a box or look at your car window and you’re going to breathe in for four seconds. So up one side, breathe in for four, then you’re going to hold your breath for four, and then you’re going to exhale out for four, and then you’re going to hold your breath for four. Okay. So that’s kind of how the box breathing works in four seconds. Hold your breath for four.  Out for four, hold breath for four, just tracing around the window of your car.

Two. Okay? While you’re doing that, up here inside your mind, I want you to say these words. You know how to say them out loud, just up here in your mind. All right? So I want you to say these words, release, release, release, release. So again, you’re breathing in for holding the breath for four, out for four, holding the breath for four, just saying those words, release, release, release, release.

Step three, while you’re doing that, okay, so we’re just kind of building on those foundational tools. Tip three, is while you’re doing that, I want you now to visualize, the visualization is so powerful for the brain and the body, I want you to visualize that your body’s releasing tension. So whatever that looks like for you, it’s going to let you carry a lot of tension up here in your jaw. So it could be the fact that while you’re doing this technique in your car, you’re just imagining that your jaw is releasing tension. Maybe the fact that your forearms are releasing. Yeah, maybe your heartbeat is getting slower, your stomach is softening, things like that. However you visualize your body also, we carry a lot of tension, don’t we, up here in our shoulders? Yes. Almost like our shoulders and our earlobes, kind of touching and kissing at the end of the day.  Because it’s getting more stress, more stress, more tension. So it could be a good time there also to do some nice big shoulder rolls in the cup. Now that whole process, okay, and then that’s kind of the, now you’re ready to transition, open up the car door, walk into your home life. That whole process would take about 90 seconds. Now there’s a key thing to that 90 second rule, and that is because it takes about 90 seconds for chemicals to release through the body and get out of the system. What I mean by that is that if you’ve got cortisol cranking through your stress hormone, It takes about 90 seconds to flood throughout the system. So just put your stopwatch on, and I want you to do that box breathing, you know, release, release, release, body releasing tension. For 90 seconds, open up the front door and walk in. I can guarantee that the people on the other side of that door, and even if you live by yourself, right, when you walk in, it’s almost like you’ve literally just washed the day off. And then when you get in, they get a better version of you. And I think this is a really key thing here, Andy and Ange, is that  if you can’t motivate yourself to do it for you, I want you to do it for the people that you love more in this life. Yeah. Right. They don’t deserve a stressed out, burnt out, anxious dad or mom walking in that front door. They deserve And you get in. Yeah. To be mindful, to be there with them. Hey kids, how’s your day? Right? So I think that’s a really cool technique. It’s easy, it’s free. You just gotta try it out. Try it out right for five days. Okay. And see how you feel. 

Andy
Yeah, I love that. 

Ange
That’s interesting that you talk about the fact that you hold a lot of strain inside your jaw. I noticed from after you spoke at our live event and from reading your book when we were on holidays, I became very conscious about the fact that I hold my tongue to the roof of my mouth. So when you say, make sure your whole body is releasing, and I actually did that through my mind, I did go, Oh my gosh. And so I’ve been very conscious over the last, you know, four weeks or so that I hold my tongue to the top of my mouth. And immediately when I just open my jaw and let my tongue fall, how it changes my state, it’s actually a good awareness to know how much that You know, that bit of stress actually gets held inside your body. So, Chelsea, it’s very clear that working with your partner can be pretty stressful and 

Andy
You think? 

Ange
Yeah. 

Andy
Oh no, sorry. Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that. 

Chelsea
Well,  it’s, it’s, it’s very common for the female in the partnership to organically end up inside the business and or end up there by choice. 

Ange
Andy and I are working for over 20 years. You work with your partner, Jay, as well. And while this is great, like, you know, It’d be nice to find some tips, you know, for people so that they know how to deal with this well. But as you say, these lines can get really blurred between home and work and can cause a huge strain on the relationship, especially because they’ve gone from being friends and partners, for instance, like the pressure and the conversations are very different when now you’re actually talking about work. Is there any other advice that you have around managing this? Because this is your true life as well.  

Chelsea
And I’ve been married for a very long, long time.  And had Jay now in the business for five years. So Jay everyone, is my husband. He’s also the general manager at EQ Minds. I actually recruited him out as he used to be a banker. So I recruited him out of the bank to be the general manager at our company. I was, he was a gun. I needed someone that I could trust. And I’m sure people can relate to this, right? Like as you’re growing your business, you want someone that you can trust. Someone who’s on the same mission as you to create something epic for your family. Yes. And someone that you know the work ethic of. And so he was the perfect choice for me as we started growing the business. Now, before we went into business together and by no means you have to do this, but I want to let you know kind of the background of what we did to start, but I’ll give you the tips of what our therapist said. So Jay and I see a psychologist once a year just to check in right with how our marriage is going. And it’s not because anything is wrong, it’s actually why our marriage is actually really great because we always check in, we’ve got a good facilitator who will give us little tips and tools of how to have longevity and spark in the relationship. Now whenever we have big life choices like Jay joining my company, we go and see them. And so they were excellent. And these are the three things that they recommended. One, defined roles. You both can’t be doing the same job. So what are your defined roles? What are both of your strengths and weaknesses and where are you complimenting each other. Two, make sure that if you are going to take a break, like go on a holiday together, you’ve got some boundaries around that in terms of sometimes on holidays, right? I actually get really good ideas for the business because I’m away and we actually unplug. I’m not on any tech when we take a break every six weeks. And it’s a great way for me to step away from the business. I fully recharge, but guess what? When I’m out surfing or horse riding or I get really creative, of course, yes. And there’s a thing here is that I’ve got to check in with Jay to say, Hey babe, are you up for having a chat about work right now? I’ve got this really epic idea, but I’ve got to check in with him. Cause he might just be on holidays, not wanting to talk about business. If he’s good to go, he’s like, yeah, let’s have a chat. We will. Right. But if not, I’ve just got to journal those ideas down and wait till we back at work to talk to him about it. And then three, is at the end of the day, we put down the tools. And again, it’s like having those kinds of boundaries in our life around when we’re talking about work and when they’re not, we also have to make sure that we have fun. We have a date scheduled every two weeks. It’s spontaneous, maybe for people who are starting, maybe it’s once a month. When our marriage gets a little bit out of sync, which it does, right? We’re human beings, we’re kind of argy bargy with each other, like the best of them. But what we do notice is that when we start to, when things are starting to get out of sync in our marriage, it’s because we haven’t had fun in the last couple of weeks. We’ve forgotten to invest into our relationship and go on a date. And so that’s a really important thing. Like always those reminders of why you married the guy in the first place to have fun together. Yeah. Yeah. And just a side note to something that our Scandinavian friends taught us 20 years ago when we got married, it was independence in the marriage. And Scandos are very happy human beings. And so Jay and I, we don’t do everything together, right? We work together, yes. We are married. We parent together, yes. We do go on some epic holidays together as a family. But a few times a year, I go away just with my girlfriends and he’ll go away just with his mates. And we have got a different circle of friends and I think that’s really important. So we’re not always in each other’s face 24/7 and expecting so much from each other. And so, I love that. I love the independence in our marriage too, of just going, you know, I’m going to Bali with 14 girlfriends. I’ll see you in a week.

Ange
Fantastic. 

Chelsea
And he’s like, yeah, you’re doing that? Well, I’m going to Maldives then with a boy’s first,  you know, it’s almost like a credit system going on in our marriage at the moment, but we make sure also that we schedule in some really fun times together with Jay and Clara, our daughter, but then also Jay and I will also duck away a couple of times a year just by ourselves without our daughter.  There’s a few ideas there and I mean, I’m not saying you’ve got to do all of them, but maybe just think about one or two things that would help your relationship. 

Ange
I think it’s important to plan it, isn’t it? You know, to ensure that a whole year doesn’t go by and you haven’t actually scheduled some of these things in. I think that’s what, to your point, is really important. We too do exactly what you do, Chelsea, with ensuring that we actually take time away. So Andy and I have just been away to the Maldives to celebrate our 50th birthday, which was amazing. Just the two of us. We didn’t take the children. We’ve just been away for two weeks, but in a month’s time, I’m actually going to Bali with some girlfriends and some distance makes the heart grow fonder. Not just for your husband, but the children appreciate you more too, because the house has to keep operating. 

Andy
And distance makes Japan snow come quicker for Andy with the point! You beauty! Go away, Ange, go away, a boy’s trip’s coming. 

Ange
Did you just say credit system? 

Andy
Yeah, so a lot of the things that you said there were pretty much in the same boat and on board with everything you said. Um, and that’s what we’ve been doing for many years. I just want to just very quickly talk about social media. Just very, very quickly, because our kids just scroll all day long. I’m seeing business owners wasting their spare time scrolling all day long, picking their phone up all the time, looking at socials. Just quickly on that, what’s your stand on this? And is it causing an impact on mental health?

Chelsea
In short, yes. Huge, huge impact. Direct correlation or data between mental ill health. And amount of time on social media. Now, in saying that, okay, we need social media for our businesses, right? Like I, I, I need to be on socials, definitely for EQ minds. I get a lot of business, a lot of dms through that channel that I’ve gotta make sure people are doing okay. However, I have very good boundaries around how often I check it and when I’m online. And so. A note here to the kids is that they, that’s actually how they socialize too. 

Ange
It is.

Chelsea
So you can’t ostracize them, right? You can’t go, no, no social media, no roadblocks for you, Clara. Uh, that’s actually how they socialize these days. You take that away. It’s like us not growing up with a TV. Right. We get to school and they’re talking about home and away. And we’re like, what are you talking about?  I don’t have a TV. Right. So then you got an odd one out. So it’s just healthy boundaries. That’s all. So if people who are listening can think about this, we just say, Hey, no screens in the bedroom, phone, iPad,  things like that because of what is going on in the middle of the night. You think your beautiful kid is asleep. They’re probably up gaming, right? Also that’s where cyber bullying comes in. That’s where grooming happens. We just don’t know what’s going on inside that bedroom. Right. Yeah. And kids are very clever and they’re going to come and get that iPhone or iPad off the kitchen dock charging station when you’re asleep. So as they’re getting a bit older, you’re probably going to have to lock them up in your bedroom, uh, almost like in a safe. And it’s that whole thing, like why are you under my roof? It’s kind of our house rules, right? And it’s going to be argy bargy at the start. They will, they will kick up a massive stink. However, in two weeks time, they’ll be super grateful and their behavior will change. You know, it’s balanced with everything. It’s like push, pull, isn’t it? 

Andy
And what about the trade business owner that’s sitting on socials too long? Like you talk about having great times with your partner and your wife. People come home, they crack a beer in the fridge. Then they sit on the back deck on the couch, drinking a beer, going through socials. They’re not even talking to the kids. They’re probably never talking to the wife, you know? And these are things that have just got to change. And like, everyone’s doing it. Like everyone’s doing it. And I’m getting more and more tradies coming to me and saying, I’m off socials. I’ve been social for a while, you know, because they know we’re all doing it. 

Chelsea
A hundred percent. Yeah. And, but the thing is as well, though, again, social media, that’s probably a platform, right? For people to find the tradie business. And so something that helps me get around kind of how much time I need to invest. Okay. So I always think about this.  So, right. With my work, I rate it out of 10, right? What’s my target score? So for keynote speaking, my target score is 9 out of 10. Yeah. Right. It’s never going to be a 10 because that’s perfect and it’s just unachievable. But 9 out of 10 is how much effort I’m putting into creating content, doing my training with NIDA, my speakers, coaches, my comedians, things that I invest a lot of time and energy into because that’s my biggest bang for my buck and I get a lot of reward from that. Writing a book.  I’m putting in a lot of blood, sweat and tears into that book because that’s going to impact a lot of people across the world. Social media posts, about six out of 10, right? I’m pretty happy at a six out of 10, just above getting canceled is my goal, Instagram.  And this is really helpful because guess what? We could spend all day, right? Crafting an Instagram post. And then never get anything else done. And if you have a 10 out of 10 right, or Instagram quote, what’s the return on investment versus a 9 out of 10 of you calling clients and prospecting and just over delivering on that client. Uh, that’s where my investment would go with time in trades, right? Like how could I grow the business? How can I invest in my team? How am I over delivering to my end client, my end user versus what am I putting up on social media? And so I think it’s that set of skills that is really, really important. We want to reward the effort that you’re putting into particular things of your business that you know you’ll get a huge amount of return on investment on and the rest of the time, right? Yes. You can **** around on socials for 10 minutes. You need to look at some funny stuff to get you some entertainment or look for kids recipes or whatever. But then the rest of the time finds down having actual social connections and had a human conversations with people is massive. 

Andy
We love talking about actionable steps here on the tradie show. So if you could give some advice for someone looking to make a positive change in their mental wellbeing starting today, like right now, what would it be?

Chelsea
Sleep. Let’s just quickly dial in here on sleep. It is the elixir of their life. Now I have had insomnia before. It has been debilitating. If I have any insomniacs or people having really disrupted sleep, I would encourage you to check out the Woolcock Sleep Clinic. Get a referral there from your GP. They’re outstanding because sometimes we need the experts right around us to get us back on track. But there’s some really simple things that people can do tonight to get themselves deep REM sleep. If you sleep well, what that means the next day is that you’ve got the energy to go to the gym. You now have the energy to be a really high performer at work. Yeah. You’re also choosing, probably cleaner foods, right? You’re not leaning on the bacon and rolls as much because you actually had a good sleep the night before. And so three things I’m just going to mention really quickly. One, caffeine. Caffeine smashes deep REM. Don’t worry, I’m never going to say don’t drink coffee or whatever you’re drinking out there. There’s maybe something stronger. But what we do say, and this is Dr. Matt Walker’s research, is that just cut it by 2pm. Yes. Go hard. Like I’ve already had two coffees. Go hard in the morning. Cut it at 2 because at 2pm onwards, the half life of caffeine is really hard to get out of your system and that will impact your deep restorative sleep. You will still sleep, but you’re not going to get the 90 minutes of deep REM that you need to bounce out of your bed the next day. So that’s tip number one.

Tip number two is screens. Just jump off them half an hour before you go to bed, 30 minutes before your bedtime. That way it’s not going to switch off melatonin in your pineal gland, in your brain. Okay. So if you’re on your phone right before bed, it’ll literally stream back through your eyes and switch off melatonin. And we all need melatonin again to take us down into that really deep paralyzed sleep where your energy gets restored. So you can watch Netflix. You can do all that cool stuff, but just remember half an hour before bed, if your screens are off. It’ll be superific. It’ll be just awesome for your brain. So just thinking about half an hour before you go to bed, some healthier things before you get to sleep, like reading a book, shower, brush teeth, talk to your partner, have a stretch, things like that. I don’t know. Pat the dog, play the guitar, whatever. That’s not on a screen. That’s tip two. 

Tip three is booze. A lot of us use it as a sleep aid and we also use it as a stress aid. And so this is what we see with alcohol. If you have two drinks at night time, okay, followed by a water chaser, and we usually do, we really encourage people not to have, like, try and have two or three, four, if you can, alcohol free nights during the week. The brain really does need to restore itself. If you are going to have a few drinks, just know about this little rule here that we see published in evidence. Two drinks followed by a water chaser that isn’t too close to bed. I say you stop drinking booze at about 8pm. It seems to be okay from a deep REM perspective. You can still get enough of that deep REM sleep. However, if you step over two drinks and you’re like, I’m having six beers tonight, your brain is going to go berserk, right? You’re going to get knocked out for the first part of the night, which is sometimes what we want. But if we’re going to track you on a biofeedback device, we’d see zero deep REM. Again, the stuff that makes you really restored and energized for the next day. Plus you then get a thing called rebound insomnia, which is when you wake up to go do a wee. And then you come back to bed and you toss and turn, and have lots of dreams. And when you wake up, you would have clocked zero deep moments for tracking you on a biofeedback device. And so know about that two drink rule, right? If you go out for a nice dinner or something. Sure. Grab a beer. You know, grab a couple of beers if you want to. If you step over, just know that your deep REM is absolutely stuffed. So, you know, as I was saying in the conference, you know, on the weekend, you’re at the pub, you’re in the nail dives having a beautiful time there with Ange, you’re at a wedding, just loving life and you step over the two drink rule. I always say, you know what, just go hard, right, line up, go hard, just go nuts, just go nuts. You’re not going to sleep well, right? You’re not going to sleep well anyway. So you might as well have a great time. Yeah.  Smash it and have fun. Yeah. 

Ange
Well, don’t they use sleep deprivation as an interrogation treatment, like when you’re in the war or whatever, you know, so you do go, clearly it’s torture. So clearly it makes sense to say that everybody actually needs sleep. Otherwise you’re, you mentally and physically cannot actually operate. 

Chelsea
It’s true. Once you start sleeping well, you, I cannot tell you the difference that you feel when you get up in the morning, like things just shift dramatically and your resilience is better. You know, it’s water off a duck’s back. Things aren’t pissing us off as much. You know, it’s just, it’s kind of everything. It really is. That’s probably the pillar that I would focus on the most. Before you move into, you know, your nutrition and they all obviously link in, but I think if you can nail your sleep first, that’s probably where I’d go.

Andy
A hundred percent agree. A hundred percent agree. So in this episode, Chelsea, we always play a little bit of a game. We’re going to hit you with three rapid fire questions. They’re going to take less than 30 seconds each. Are you ready?

Chelsea
Ready to go. 

Ange
Okay. What is one strategy you use to start your day right?

Chelsea
I don’t check my phone for the first eight minutes and instead I do gratitude, brush teeth with the opposite hand, hydrate with a big glass of water, get outside, say today’s going to be a good day and go do a bit of exercise.

Andy
Ooh, I love that. 

Ange
I love that it’s so specific. 

Andy
Just quickly, why brush your teeth with the other hand?

Chelsea
Because where dexterity sits in the brain, it gets stimulated. So it’s a beautiful anti-aging technique for the brain. 

Andy
You do look very young. There’s no doubt about that. 

Chelsea
But I am 70.  

Andy
You’re doing really good. The next one was, what is something that has made you smile recently?  

Chelsea
My daughter’s laugh. She’s contagious. When we were riding the horses, she farted once when we were on the horse just recently. And we just pissed ourselves a lot. I don’t know why farts are so funny, but we just laughed and we smiled and just, she just brings me so much joy.  

Ange
Isn’t that beautiful?  Chelsea, what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received? 

Chelsea
I’ve received some really, really great ones. Uh,  you know what? This is probably the best piece of advice I’ve received. And this is relatable to parents. Parents will always say that they’ll die for their kids. But would you get healthy for them? And that, I locked everything for me. You know, like, I want to be there walking Clara down the aisle at her wedding. I want to see her graduate from university. I want to be with her grandkids and cruising around, having a great time. And I think that’s so,  that just really makes me stop in the tracks. You say you’d die for your kids, but would you get healthy for them? 

Andy
Yeah, that is amazing. I agree with that one. It’s interesting when you say it that way, isn’t it? So awesome stuff, Chelsea. You know, thank you so much for joining us on The Tradie Show today. Your story, your wisdom, you’re an amazing person and everyone loves you. And thanks for giving us your insights on managing stress for our tradies and trade business owners out there. I know what we talked about today will inspire a lot of people.

Chelsea
Thank you so much, Andy and Ange, for what you do with your network. I mean, bravo. You both are such legends. Thank you so much. 

Ange
Thank you so much, Chelsea. We really appreciate it. So crew, that’s it for this week, friends. Make sure you tune in next week for another great episode of The Tradie Show. 

Andy
Yeah, everyone has an absolute cracking week. 

Ange
Want to know more about how Lifestyle Tradie can help you create more time, scale your profit and get your life back? Then come and meet us at Lifestyle Tradie on Tour. So many of our members have success stories, just like Simon and Allie’s. And we would love to kickstart that journey for you. To reserve your free ticket right now, head to lifestyletradie.com.au  and we look forward to seeing you in the room. 

Member’s Testimony
Don’t wait, these guys are very honest and open. They share so much information personally, as well as business. It’s a holistic approach to life, not just how to run your plumbing business. 

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Andy
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